When I start the tapes my therapist told me first to get out of the tape loop and to just let myself have the feeling I am having right that moment. The tapes are a way we develop while growing up of dealing with scary feelings, but they keep us away from the feelings themselves. Feelings, even the worst of them, are transitory. If one just goes, "I am lonely. I feel lonely right now." and acknowledges the feeling, that will pass faster than starting the "No one will ever love me. I'll die alone." loop, which can go on and on and keep reinforcing the feeling. I try to do something positive when I get in a loop, because I have learned that eating a ton of M&Ms helps while I am eating them, but is followed by feeling even worse. Of course, I didn't learn this until my 40s, so the rest of you have plenty of time....

I think Robin's therapist is my therapist.

Another tape that I have is the Why Is Your Gut So Huge? The way that I try to counteract it is to remember that I think my face is pretty nice. So what if I have a spare tire, I'm still pretty damned cute! I also think about that old saying about choosing your ass (losing weight) vs. choosing your face (keeping some poundage to keep your face youthful). I've always believed in choosing the face. I just have to remind myself of this when the Gut tape plays.

We will not discuss the huge, HUGE issues I have with The Velveteen Rabbit.

This was when I knew Robert was perfect for me. With both VR and The Giving Tree, he just can't make himself identify with the humans in the stories. He will not discuss VR.

I recognize the tapes because they are so familiar and I can sing along without thinking about it. Actually, sliding into those mental paths feels temptingly comfortable, like an old pair of jeans. I use the simple expedient of visualizing a big STOP sign to break the process, and then figure out how best to address it (make something, exercise, talk to people, take meds).

My tapes are pretty simple.

You Did Something To Deserve This.
But What If You Just Buckled Down And Tried?
They're Just Humouring You.
Could You Be More Ungrateful?
and...
You Haven't Done Enough.

As for short-circuiting those tapes--you can do that? These days I just get distracted by a migraine.

These days I just get distracted by a migraine.

See above re: not healthy ways to deal with the tapes.

You can totally short circuit them. You know at the end of 8 Mile Cheddar asks Rabbit what the other guy is gonna say and then laundry lists the stuff that Rabbit ends up doing the freestyle about? If you do that with your tapes, they gets all futzed and short circuited and takes them longer to repair themselves than if you just stress over them and feel like crap about yourself. Just acknowledging that you feel that way makes the tape go OMGWTFPOLARBEAR and then pass out.

Nice Boy not only likes carrots, TB is doing constant carrot recipe searches to find more things he might like.

Food Wooing is a strong suit of mine.

So far we have hits with my split pea soup, my zucchini soup, and the tamales that nobody knows where else to buy. Soon soon SOON I say he will develop a cold and three and a half cups of chicken soup will come out of my freezer and be dropped off at his office.

Oh yes, he will be mine.

I think Aimee's on to something there.

The Giving Tree, he just can't make himself identify with the humans in the stories.

Oh, I have such a visceral hatred for that book.

Ah, but I get the migraines whether or not the tape is playing. I can't sustain much of anything--attention, mood, effort, because there's a headache around every corner, every few hours.

Thing is, some of my tapes have a point. It's just that once they get past the point of motivation, they become dangerous.

I'm ignoring the tape conversation, because I just played all of them after being 7 minutes late picking Julia up at a birthday party.

Hil, any chance you're sick because you at the Lebonese food last night? That was you, right? I remember reading the post and thinking I could never eat that the day after I was sick.