Today's Miss Manners, to which I say "phooey!"

Dear Miss Manners:

We are taking a vacation to England this fall, and I have a tiara I wore with my prom dress. What places can I wear it out in England? I know they use them a lot there.

No, not a lot. Not nearly as often as Miss America wears hers, for example.

Elderly British duchesses have been known to get fed up waiting for an opportunity to wear theirs, despairing that when their saucy daughters-in-law inherit them, they will pluck out the gemstones to use for heaven knows what. Probably bellybutton decorations.

This is because tiaras are worn only for full-dress occasions, which nowadays pretty much means only grand state banquets or ceremonies, and the occasional full-scale royal wedding. Perhaps Miss Manners had better explain that full dress means something more than prom wear and the full-scale wedding means something more than a royal second wedding you may have seen on television. In any case, the days of private balls and grand opera nights where tiaras were worn seem to have faded away. Furthermore, tiaras are not supposed to be worn by unmarried ladies, with the exception of those who are being married within an hour of placing them carefully in their hair.

Miss Manners hopes she hasn't spoiled your vacation. You may find there a daring young lady or two who doesn't care about the rules governing tiaras as a sign of rank and wealth and plops something sparkly in her hair to go out dancing. It is just that you are no more or less likely to do so than in the United States.

Besides, tiaras are a nightmare to pack.

Well, she's right about tiaras being a nightmare to pack. And she doesn't say don't do it, she's just saying "these are the usual places." What I love about Miss Manners is she'll often say "This is why you shouldn't, and if no one else will be harmed and my eyes are officially averted elsewhere, here's why you should."

I had no idea there were rules about that. Seriously. But I suspect I'm in a far different class than MM.

This unmarried lady occassionally wears her tiara to the office. And while doing the dishes.

Vw - i am so glad you have here to post - so Teppy can help. I count these as good things. Just deal is not an answer. even I don't kno wis better

Uh, that question to Miss Manners -- is that for real? Someone actually thinks that British people wear tiaras a lot "over there"? What are they basing that on?

Seriously. Does she think that England is all fancy-schmancy highfalutin'?

See, when I wear my tiara, I regard it as just an accessory, on a par with earrings or such. I don't actually take it seriously. It's a *tiara.* And it sounds like the Miss Manners-questioner is taking her tiara just a leeeeetle too seriously.

I wore my tiara for my birthday party.

I am not married, but I'm not a virgin either so I gave myself a waiver.

I wear my tiara all the time.

I just don't fool myself into thinking there actually exist any opportunities to wear it that would actually be tiara-appropriate.

Cause, you know, this isn't a *world* in which tiara-appropriate situations exist.

Cereal:

I am, perhaps, just a *touch* on the cranky side today.

(But still! How naive must someone be to think that England affords a young lady LOTS of opportunities to wear a tiara out and about?)

Let's see if this fixes the italic problem.

Yay for Suzi's mom! And Tep, you're a wonder, volunteering to be a resource for da Bitches.

The weather is incredibly gorgeous and perfect here today. And I am chained, chained, I tell you, to my desk today. Feh.

But there has been good coffee and a lovely homemade egg-ham-n-cheese on rye half-sammich for lunch, and I must plow onwards in my quest for the formica surface of my desk.