Strange name or strange ingredients?

Strange different. Apparently paracetemol is codeine. Which is in my cough-drop-like hot drink right now.

The Boy is officially the boyfriend, BTW. As in, he actually used the B word this weekend.

Woo!

But I think you have the right idea--you don't need to be his caretaker. You're just helping him outline what he needs to do so he can take care of himself. Sometimes people need that push, but I don't think he wants or expects you to take care of him, like perhaps your dad does. You're just seeing something he doesn't have the perspective to see and pointing out what he needs to do to help himself. It's really up to him to fix it.

{{{Teppy}}}

I understand that all too well. WIth my mom's chronic illness throughout my childhood and on, I've been caretaker a LOT. And now, even though I know it's petty and mean and selfish, when Stephen simply gets sick (just garden-variety sick, he doesn't have depression or other health issues) I'm resentful. I don't *want* to bring him tea or soup or anything else.

I'm the caretaker for my kids, which is sort of different (inside my brain) and even then I resent it sometimes -- the 24/7-ness of it. But caring for someone else that way raises all sorts of old issues and resentments (which have more, for me, to do with not being able to *take care of* everything if Person I Love is seriously ill, or dies, and feeling helpless), so I get where it's pushing your buttons.

That said, I love my mom. And I know it wasn't her fault that she needed so much care for so much of my life. She's actually healthier now than ever, despite the bum joints. Which makes being with her now a lot more lighthearted and casual, which is so nice.

Teppy, it sounds like you DID take care of yourself.

Going over there would have been too much for you. Him coming over you actually could do.

And if him coming over and the talking is too much for you, him coming over and just sleeping could work.

You can find those places where you take care of both of you -- its very different than "phone rings. tep jumps. life goes on hold for _____"

And, as you know, sometimes he'll be taking care of the both of you.

Strange different. Apparently paracetemol is codeine. Which is in my cough-drop-like hot drink right now.

I thought it was just acetaminaphen.

The Boy is officially the boyfriend, BTW. As in, he actually used the B word this weekend.

Yay, Teppy! I hope the Boy gets all his meds straightened out. Also, what Cashmere said. Taking care of someone can be hard, but it is easier if you know that they're someone you can rely on when you are down.

Steph- he needs to know that his choices to stop various medications affects you. Your reactions are valid, and should be respected. Yes, people who care about each other take care of each other, but HE is equally responsible for taking care of YOU, by doing what he can to stay functional.

This may well not be the exact moment to have this discussion, but once he's back up and running, you do need to sit down with him and explain that these decisions affect you, and there is responsibility on his part to not make you the caretaker when situations occur that could have been prevented.

If he still continues to resist medications, then the communication of this will be much, much harder, but still important.

applauds Steph's cheese

Grand Sweeping Epic Love is fun and all, but it doesn't last. I've found real love to be more of a startling awareness of someone's significance. It's subtle. The other person simply becomes more real than the rest of the world.

Yes, this. Exactly. I thought I was supposed to be with Z because of how cinematic our relationship was, and I figured if we had survived all that we had, we should be golden. Notsomuch, obviously.

Owen's trying to learn his first knock, knock joke and it is CRACKING ME UP.

SO. CUTE.

{{{{Steph}}}} I'm sure the balance will shift back, and you can core-dump any time. That sounds like a very hard situation.

The Boy is officially the boyfriend, BTW. As in, he actually used the B word this weekend.

Woo hoo!

ION: Full line of pirate tableware.

The other person simply becomes more real than the rest of the world.

And hell yes to this. That's exactly how it is.

SA, paracetamol is just the non-USian name for acetaminophen (Tylenol). Though you may very well have a combination product that has both paracetamol and codeine.

Mmmm....codeine.

[I'm reading everyone's kind words, BTW, but I can't respond to them yet, or I'll start crying. And my co-workers already think I'm a lunatic -- crying at work might just push them to call the funny farm.]

And my co-workers already think I'm a lunatic -- crying at work might just push them to call the funny farm.

Which would really be a waste. If you want them to commit you go for the gold and show them your LJ.