Gris, my advice is just to CHILL. You're going to drive yourself nuts by thinking you "should" feel a certain way at a certain pre-determined time in a relationship. And you'll probably drive smart!girl nuts, too.
I know you said your relationships get serious quickly, and you don't even know if you know how or even want to have a non-serious one. I understand that and totally respect it.
That said, CHILL. If you worry that your smitten-ness hasn't happened on schedule, if you worry that this relationship isn't following the same exact pattern as your previous ones -- well, you might be throwing away a chance at something really good.
I'll note this, and then let it go: The Boy was most definitely NOT head over heels for me right off the bat. Or even after a couple of months. And he actually brought that point up to me -- he said "I'm not obsessed with you -- that doesn't seem right." He was expecting it to be Grand Cinematic Love, and was confused that, with me, it was SO not.
And I told him that grand cinematic love is pretty, and nice, but not something that can be sustained. Flash fires burn out pretty damned quickly. Bonfires that get built up from kindling and then bigger logs, etc., will burn for a long, LONG time.
(And those last 2 sentences are possibly the cheesiest things I have EVER typed. But I stand by them.)
Go Steph and the cheese!!!
And she is wise.
Eh, they may be cheesy, Steph, but they're true. Grand Sweeping Epic Love is fun and all, but it doesn't last. I've found real love to be more of a startling awareness of someone's significance. It's subtle. The other person simply becomes more real than the rest of the world.
Gris, let the relationship be what it wants to be. There is no standard for these things.
I've found real love to be more of a startling awareness of someone's significance. It's subtle. The other person simply becomes more real than the rest of the world.
If that could happen NOWISH it would be great...
t perserverating over Nice Boy and vague state of relationship: this tag never closes
I've found real love to be more of a startling awareness of someone's significance. It's subtle. The other person simply becomes more real than the rest of the world.
Holy shit, victor. That really nails it. Certainly at least as far as how I feel about S, and how I came to realize her importance to me.
So, like, what if I wear something low-cut...
I've found real love to be more of a startling awareness of someone's significance. It's subtle. The other person simply becomes more real than the rest of the world.
AAaaand, this is why victor is a writer. This is it, exactly.
Owen's trying to learn his first knock, knock joke and it is CRACKING ME UP.
