What you've shared here reads like depression to me, Nora, from your first post on the subject, on.

From what Nora's explained, I would definitely say there is depression going on here, but I also really wonder about some BPD. This is VERY BPD behavior.

when it's just that she doesn't want to be my friend after ~20 years. It certainly could be as simple as that

I may just be oversensitive since it happened to me last year.

Maybe I am being stupid about this, when it's just that she doesn't want to be my friend after ~20 years.

It sounds like depression to me, Nora. Serious depression. I'm so sorry you're going through this. It can be hard to deal with a friend you care for and worry about when they're pushing you away, and being nasty about it. Even when you know (or suspect) it's the illness talking, it hurts.

{{{Nora}}}

Nora, you may want to get the book I Hate You; Don't Leave Me from the library or something. It may help you better know how to deal with all of this.

Here's the amazon link: [link]

ION, I'm sitting at my brother's place, listening to beautiful music, and working on my paper that is due tomorrow. I've got a great opening paragraph. Unfortunately, it really said everything I wanted to say, so now I have nothing else to write. Only two and a half to four and a half more pages to go!

I was practically building a shrine to the four-pack of bottles I found. I was carrying it around and treasuring it like it was my baby.

Does it yell, "WANT BALLS! WANT BALLS!"?

I am still catching up, but congrats to Cass on new niecphews!

Nora, I do think there's depression involved, and I suspect this run of nasty emails is trying to get you to say you won't visit this weekend. That, of course, gives her the opportunity to point at you and say you have abandoned her. However, when someone is being abusive, you have every right to make yourself unavailable. I had this experience, and it was painful to be the one to say to someone who I knew was sick and needed help, "Enough. I can not and will not have anything to do with you anymore," but she was vicious, no where near getting help, and every contact with her was ugly.

(((Nora))) I.m so sorry you're going through this. You're a good friend. It definitely sounds like depression to me. She might not even know she is being so hurtful, because she might truly believe that she doesn't matter to anyone. FWIW, I think you should still go see her, but not if it is going to be too much for you.

The subtext is, since her life sucks and mine doesn't, that I am somehow responsible for her unhappiness.

To quote Tom Scola, I know this one! Except we usually get it from family members.

Unfortunately, it really said everything I wanted to say, so now I have nothing else to write. Only two and a half to four and a half more pages to go!

Does it say "WANT BALLS! WANT BALLS!" ?