wait ... I just realized a buffista baby was born on a Tuesday. How perfect.

OMG!!!!

"JZ's in labor...must be Tuesday."

I am weary.

But man is she cute!

For the record, it's Matilda Azalea Smay.

Best way to do this is to go back over Cindy's spoilers.

I wanna know if JZ is having an epi,

She really didn't want one since she hates the feeling of being numb. To the point that she gets her fillings done without novacaine. So the plan was to get her hit of fentynal to get over the rough patches and just push through. That would have worked fine with a simple 12 hour labor.

because she had to have the pitocin, and I want to know if she's okay with any modifications to her birthing plan.

We had to have some serious strategy talks after 14 hours of labor resulting in not much cervix dilation at all. I just went with what I knew, which was that EM's cervix dilated almost completely after her epi. Doctor thought it was a sound plan, and that is, in fact, what worked. JZ did like the fentynal quite a bit, though.

I wanna know if she's having any touch averse moments,

To the contrary, every second I wasn't coaching her through the pushing she was glaring at me and yelling, "Neck!" Meaning, my neck is really fucking tight and you have to massage it between contractions. Which was tricky since it's not like I could stand behind her while she sat in a chair, but had to reach across the bed, lean over and try to massage the back of her neck while she was lying down.

and if so, how Hec's dealing with them.

JZ said I was hardly bossy at all.

I wanna know if she got anything to eat before she went to the hospital, and if they're letting her have ice chips.

Ice chips after the epidural. I did sneak her the Cream of Wheat when the night nurse broadly hinted that she'd look the other way.

I want to know the color of her johnny. I want to know if her parents are coming to the hospital before the birth, or if they'll wait at home.

It was sweet that her parents rushed there when she started labor, but labor is a very intense and intimate time. Part of it was that JZ didn't want her ass flapping around in the breeze in front of her Dad, but moreover, I just wanted to be alone and comfortable with her during the process. So I kicked her parents out (with her approval) about 12:30 on Monday.

I wanna know the time of birth. Down to the second.

9:35 am. I'm not sure about seconds.

I wanna know if Hec cut the cord,

No, but I watched it happen because the Anesthesiologist said, "Look, there's your baby!" and I was sort of obliged to look over the curtain at that point. Where the first thing that lept into my brain was the vision of my wife flayed alive. But Matilda looked very healthy and full of squalls, though completely covered in vernix.

and if he and/or JZ cried.

In the recovery room, when we were telling the nurse about my grandmother, Prudence Azalea.

I wanna know the baby's birth weight to the half ounce,

6 pounds, 5.2 ounces

her height to the half inch,

19 inches exactly. Though a lot of that seemed to be her poor little mashed up and elongated head. (Rather squidlike compared to Emmett's more banana shaped molding.)

and her names-as-appear-on-birth-cert.

As noted, Matilda Azalea Smay.

And who's filling out the cert, for that matter.

Nurse.

And I want to know how Emmett is, and his reaction upon meeting the baby for the first time.

Now that actually turned out to be a pretty good story. I called EM, of course, and she was thrilled for us. Very sweet and excited. I told her that JZ wanted Emmett to come as soon as possible - not wait until the end of the week. She wanted Emmett to feel part of a family with Matilda right away - not have the baby presented to him as if we'd already formed some separate unit. EM mulled it over and decided that it would be best to come right over. She actually pulled Emmett out of school - which was a good choice in retrospect. Made it feel like a holiday and emphasized how eventful it was.

They met me over at my house since I'd finally sneaked out to pick (continued...)

( continues...) up JZ's meds. Emmett was pretty focused on getting his new Nano back, which had been held hostage during the labor. Drove over to the hospital, and walked in together and the baby was in her little crib next to JZ who looked thoroughly strung out on morphine at the moment. (Her nursing bra was hanging open for that extra touch of decadence.)

I picked up the baby and had Emmett sit in a chair and let him hold her. She was all swaddled and content. EM took some pictures on her phone. Then we put the baby back in the crib and unwrapped her so she'd be a bit more visible and active. Emmett leaned over and played with her lower lip until she opened her mouth and made little mews. She has very long fingers (accentuated by her long pointy fingernails), and she wrapped her hand around his finger. And he leaned down and looked at her a long time and said, "You know I think maybe I like the idea of a little sister." EM and I shot each other "SCORE!" looks.

Basically his puppy affection instincts kicked in. He was very sweet. He leaned into the crib and surrounded her with his arms, not quite hugging her but just encompassing her.

So: 14 hours of what turned out to be back labor. JZ did most of it bouncing on her pilates ball and singing along (very off-key) to Jonathan Richman, Morrissey and Prince. I applied direct pressure to her lower back and that's all we needed. She found that all fairly bearable, but got very worn out and tired.

2 and half hours of pushing. Oh, we were so close. We were at Plus Two. But the baby was transverse - her face turned sideways. They kept trying turn her but couldn't quite. Also her head had moulded one way, then she tried to go at it from another angle which made it pointy in another direction. (At which point JZ asked, "So she's got horns?") Poor little critter. She wasn't stubborn. She was stuck. Her heart rate was pretty steady throughout though. She's very healthy. Three vacuum extraction tries and nothing.

JZ's pushes were strong and productive. The baby would come down, but as soon as the push was over, the baby would slide back up again. Gah.

JZ was such a brave little toaster. Not only the pushing and the long labor, but she's a horrible needlephobe and getting the epidural was a massive trial for her. Largely because her instinct is to flinch and runaway. No flinching allowed with epidurals. Also the catheter fitting was very uncomfortable - even with the epidural.

The only time she flipped out like a mammal and lost it was on the operating table, and that had to do with her getting a huge, very painful neck and shoulder cramp after they'd hooked her up. She couldn't get up and there wasn't much we could do to relieve it. I talked to her a lot to distract her, and I think the anesthesiolgist slipped her a little sedative too.

I went with Matilda to the nursery while they sewed JZ up. It was a nice little bonding time for me. I let her suck on my pinky while she got her shots and eye-medicine and blood glucose test, and got her first washing. I kept leaning down to her face and talking to her and telling her that she was my sweet little girl and that I was so happy to finally meet her.

She's very cute for a pre-term baby. Big fat cheeks. Dark wavy hair (who knows if it'll stay, but it looked like the hair in JZ's family). Pretty, pretty lips. Eyes shaped like JZ's.

My A's are 4 outs away from clinching. At the moment, that is better than chocolate.

My A's are 4 outs away from clinching. At the moment, that is better than chocolate.

Oooh, this could be the Best Day Ever.

::afraid to check anything for fear of jinxing::

Oh, David.

I'm so happy for you, you big lug.

Kind of appropriate that the very next post after David's is on baseball.

Congrats again, you guys.

Though not, you understand, about the baseball stuff.

That happy was directly related to Shiny New Baby.

PS, sounds like she's about Lillian-sized. Suggest you have someone pick up a single pair of preemie footie jammies for the ride home. Wish I'd done that.

Awww. Love the birthing story--especially Emmett's reaction.