{{{Cass}}} I hope you're taking a good, long nap.

I've watched too much Lifetime TV.

I keep envisioning this woman stalking me till I walk Toto, then pushing me into the woods, putting a knife into my stomach so I bleed to death slowly, and running away with Toto. Then she'll build a room under her garage and lock Toto in there, where he will never see the light of day again.

So, if I disappear, you all search for Toto and save him from the evil woman, ok?

Promise?

Promise.

PS, stop watching Lifetime, 'k?

I don't think the dog request is creepy. Lookit how cute Toto is in that picture! It's strange, but I can see someone who's looking for a dog totally falling in love with Toto.

Yeah, I see it as a cute joke.

Happy birthday, erika!

Okay, guys, I have returned with more on the Saga of Sunil Has Enough Trouble Budgeting His Newfound Earnings Without Family Obligations.

I called my elder cousin, and he was kind of surprised at the amount my mom was quoting too. He had sent some money out of his first paycheck back home to India because they're poor, and maybe some to the sisters, but maybe $500 total. He said I didn't have to send anything; I could send what I wanted. So I decided, hey, I'll quote you on that when I find the backbone to tell my mom I'm choosing the amount I send. Let's say $200 for my sister, $100 for my oldest female cousin, and $25 for everyone else. Because if they want me to spend something like a thousand dollars on this, they'd better damn well give me that money.

And then my dad came this weekend and bought me a microwave, a desk, and a new computer, the retail value of which was over a thousand dollars. Note: even though I accepted the microwave and computer as a birthday present, I tried to pay for the desk myself, and he wouldn't let me. And he's not the sort of person who wants thanks or wants to be paid back. You just take it.

So now I feel like, whatever, I can appease my mom and take her higher amounts for my sister and eldest female cousin, but hell if I'm giving everyone else $100 each. I'll still shoot for $25 there, $50 at the most.

How is my psychology and reasoning here?

P-C, did you ever say what the reason for these gifts is? Because that's where I'm unclear.

Not your dad's gifts to you, the monetary gifts to your family.

I think it's good, Sunil. Unless you had megabucks, your mom, being your mom, could possibly have something to say about whatever you were to give. Try to let it be her issue.

P-C, did you ever say what the reason for these gifts is? Because that's where I'm unclear.

It's my first job, so everything is on me? I'm unclear on the whole thing too. It's a thing. Boys take care of girls.

Ethnic custom, basically, right?

Right, ita.

For instance, I just realized something yesterday. When I took everyone out for dinner a few weeks ago, my aunt...um, let's see: the wife of the uncle who got me the job, the uncle whose sister is married to my mom's brother. She gave me $25 to buy something for my new apartment. Which was the same amount I gave to her daughter for her birthday some weeks before.

In Indian society, the money just circulates.

P-C, one issue that comes to my mind is that your mother wants you to send this money right away -- as in, she seems to think that you shouldn't be spending any money on anything (like food or rent) until you've fulfilled what she sees as your family obligations.

I'll stay out of ethnic obligation issues on whether and how much to give. But if I'm reading your mother's perspective correctly, she needs a reality check. It's all well and good to remember the family (and whoever brought up the Savings Bond idea last week -- I like it, too, especially for the youngest set), but not if it's going to put you out on the street.