She's not ashamed that she's had all three kinds of sex. You know?

She shouldn't be! It's just that I'm not sure I could be that forthright with Jake. Especially off the cuff. Although maybe, in the end, that would be easier.

God, I need a drink just thinking about it.

Also realizing that I currently have a toddler and a teenager, and wondering what I did to piss off the PTB.

Deena will tell me what to do.

Yes! I'd be happy if Deena told me what to do most of the time.

Happy Birthday, Lee!!!! I hope you had a fabulous weekend!

Oh, Hec, that is freaking hysterical. I'm impressed with how well EM handled it. I think I would have freaked out.

-----

Today I went out to mom and dad’s to visit mom and help dad with some stuff around the house. He decided he mostly just needed me to do laundry, so I had lots of sitting-around time.

As 5:00 p.m. approached, I decided to ask if we could watch the WB farewell. Dad said sure. Mom was dozing, so she didn’t care either.

Well, The WB was having some technical difficulties for us. The picture would freeze, we’d lose sound, then there’d be this horrible beeping noise and the sound would come back, but the picture would still be frozen. This would happen many times during each hour. It was annoying.

Dad kept busy during Felicity, but became intrigued during Angel. He asked a few questions, especially towards the end. He actually seemed excited about watching Buffy.

Of course, right before Buffy started the picture froze. We got to listen to Darla seduce the poor high-schooler while staring at the Stop and Shop Herb selection. Thus started Question Man.

Dad: Which one is the vampire?
Me: The girl. Her name is Darla.
Dad: So, she’s going to bite him?
Me: Yes.
Dad: Is he going to become a vampire?
Me: No.
Dad: Why not?
Me: Because.

The picture and sound finally synched for good after the first commercial break, during Buffy’s nightmare sequence. I thought we would just sit back and enjoy until the picture froze again, but I was wrong. I think I deserve about FIVE toasters.

Dad: So, Buffy already knows she’s a vampire slayer, right?
Me: Yes.
Dad: Because of the movie, right?
Me: Yes.

Dad: Ooooo…Xander! I know Xander! Who’s this Jesse guy?
Me: He’s a friend of theirs.
Dad: I don’t remember you talking about him. Is he gonna die?
Me: Yes.

Dad: Oh, Willow! That’s Alyson Hannigan! I like her! Didn’t she turn evil and die?

Dad: What’s a Watcher?
Me: He “watches” the slayer and helps train her.
Dad: Is he always British?
Me: Dad. Watch.

Dad: Does Buffy’s mom know that she’s a slayer
Me: No.
Dad: When does she find out?
Me: End of the second season.
Dad: Wow. That’s a lot of lying.

Dad: Who’s following Buffy?
Me: Dad. Just watch.
Dad: Is it Angel?
Me: Yes. It’s Angel.
Dad: Is he good or bad right now?
Me: Good.
Dad: How is it that he’s good, anyway? Isn’t he a vampire?
Me: Yes, he’s a vampire, but he has a soul.
Dad: How does a vampire get a soul?
Me: He was cursed by gypsies.
Dad: What does it mean for a vampire to have a soul?
Me: It means he can’t hurt people.

As the camera pans underground…

Dad: Is this the hellmouth?
Me: No, dad. This is the sewers.

As The Master rises through the blood pond…

Dad: Is that the hellmouth?
Me: No, dad. We’re not going to actually see the hellmouth in this episode.
Dad: Why not?

Dad: Is this when Jesse dies? Does he become a vampire?
Me: Dad, just watch. Your questions will all be answered.
Dad: I’m just trying to be interested.
Me: I know.
Dad: You’re going to tell the board about this, aren’t you?
Me: Yes.
Dad: Tell them I say hi!

About then the groceries were delivered, and I was saved. But, I might just torture him with the DVDs sometime.

edited because I know the difference between bold and break html. Really.

Torture him but good . make him watch but refuse to answer any questions..... you'll see is a perfect answer....

Your dad is adorable.

my dad spent so many years calling Buffy 'that Muffy show' because we all watched it(all three daughters, his SILs, and his wife) but him, that I would cackle with glee if he ever got even mildly interested.

Dad: You’re going to tell the board about this, aren’t you?

Me: Yes.

Dad: Tell them I say hi!

ROFL

Your dad is adorable.

Yeah. He is.

Thanks for all the Birthday Wishes! It was very nice to come home to so many, all at once.

OMG Tired, so no Vegas stories yet, though there may well be.

I immediately started interrogating her like Jack on 24: "Have you had all three kinds of sex?!! Have you had the Virginia sex, the mouth sex and the butt-sex?! Have you sucked the winky with the wrapper on? Have you?!?"

You're a bad, bad man. Incidentally, I saw a t-shirt in Atlanta with the caption "The only reason I am still conscious is because Jack Bauer does not want to carry me."

So, I'm back in Melbourne, and back at work. Hi everyone, and thanks for the engagement and birthday well wishes. This just in: holidays are fun! It was good to see Buffistas again, thanks to everyone who put me up, and I feel on solid ground in saying that now it's your turn to visit Australia.

That's all I have time for right now, because, work. But it's nice to be back, even so.

Hec, I promise to send you eyeliner for you What Would Deena Do period?

And I imagine the Halloweenie, just to show me, will prove to be one of those preternaturally adult toddlers, sweet and polite and kind, with never a tantrum beyond a dainty stomping of foot.

(In short, I picture her as a mini-JZ.)