From TWOP and my friend Dre: The Deadwood 12 steps:

1. we cocksuckers came to acknowdge that we were fuckin'powerless over fucking alcohol, laudanum, dope, titlickin', antler worship, and whatever other fuckin' peccadilloes you care to name, and that our lives had become as un-fuckin'manageable as a saloon full of whores with their monthlies.

2.Came to believe that a Power greater than ourselves, if it was so fuckin' inclined, could restore us to fucking sanity.

3.Having fucked our lives up flatter than hammered shit, we therefore made a decision, with that little that is given in life to make a choice, to turn our will and our lives to God as we understand Him: Celestial, Jew, fuckin' antler-and-dirt worshippers alike.

4. Made a searching and fearless moral inventory of our drunken shitbird selves and determined we do, indeed, suck cocks by choice.

5. Admitted to God, to ourselves, and to another human cocksucker the exact fuckin' extent, depth, complexity, and horror of our wrongs. We apologize.
6.Humbly asked him to remove all of our shortcomings.

7. Made a list of all cocksuckers we had harmed and became willing to make amends to them all, however much that willingness might be attentuated in its fulfillment by the majority of said harmed cocksuckers not being among the fucking breathing.

8.Made fuckin' direct amends to those cocksuckers whenever possible, except when to do so would injure them or others, compromise vital fuckin' interests, or be rendered impossible due to the fuckin' givens above.

9. Continued to take personal inventory, mind our fuckin' decimals, and when we were wrong, promptly admitted it, no matter how prickly we become.

10.Sought through prayer, meditation, goin' to Bill's fuckin' grave, talking to the fuckin' Chief, or giving a quick fuckin' blowjob to improve our conscious, cocksucking contact with God as we understand Him.
TRANSCRIBER'S Note Oh, balls, my fucking count's fuckin' wrong. Some hoople in Yankton got to this.

That is the funniest thing I have EVER READ.

Thank you...I wish I knew who actually wrote this, or why, in my listing of gimpish travails, the fuckin' ironic inability to keep a list looms so goddamn large. Just one of those fucking things.

Oh lawd. I'm hurting myself trying not to laugh out loud at that list here at work, because I sure as fuck can't show anyone what I'm laughing at. I have to get my hands on Deadwood, despite my lack of premium channels, just to hear the gorgeous language. Rhythm and fucking and cocksuckers and blues.

Well, I started watching on DVD, too. Mostly so I could tell Corwood I watched his fucking show. But I do that about The Wire so I guess I deserved it. Mom says without even hearing the show she can tell when it's Deadwood because of the way it sounds.

Having just finished the first disc of the BBC Bleak House, I can say that it's the show that comes closest to Deadwood in subtle intrigue and gorgeous language. Luckily, Deadwood doesn't have the oddly jerky transitions between scenes.

I liked the list, too.

Yeah, pretty hilarious. Wishing I could give the filker(?) props but it was sent anonymous-like. ETA: Step 12, which my inexact decimals has as 11

12. Having had a fuckin' spiritual awakening as a result of these steps, we carry it to the hoopleheads, shout it in the thoroughfare, and try to use it in our daily principles, interfering self-deluded motherfuckers that we are.

The newest Wire trailers are getting me excited, and I don't mean porn. Much less McNutty and String being 10-7 means less sweaty Wire thoughts, but I'm not gonna stop watching or anything. Balmer is the real star, of course.

In whitefont: Mastah String, he dead.

Yeah...10-7 is something they used in A Year On The Killing Streets for dead bodies, as well as radio cars that don't work. 10-7= Out of Service. Cold, huh?

"This drug dealer has ceased to be. He is a former drug dealer."

"No, he's not. He's...uh, pining for the Eastern Shore. They all do that, this time of year."
(I really loved some String...IE played the hell out of that part. I just saw the chance to grab some geek trifecta of crossoverhood. no offense intended.)

Having just finished the first disc of the BBC Bleak House

I'd love to hear what you think of it when you're finished.