Ok, so I studied media in college. And I'm not especially young anymore, just know more what to do if I wanted to kill somebody than bring him home because Steven Bochco warped me while Brooke Shields and Princess Diana warped my friends, okay? But you know, thanks anyway.

Math, where all the variables are named after tabloid headliners. I can do this.

BTW, for the on-lookers, you do not have to be as weird as erikaj or me to get into The Wire. You need only be as weird as Kristen, which is only middlin'-weird.

We're being a little off-the-hook today, it's true. I'm not always like this, either. Except for the Wire likes carrots...that's forevah. I'm 32, Gus. But an impaired 32, so that probably works out to an AB 22 on some scales and Cool Lester Smooth's age on some others.ETA: Off the Hook= bugfuck crazy in cornerspeak. As in: Damn, that crippled white girl is totally off the hook.

Whoah! I had the number.

It is getting all numeric, up in here.

Just as an aside, I had an email from one of my family on the Irish side who lives near Dublin. He says I can send him early Wire or run for cover. It is up to me. Those Irish guys kinda scare me.

Damn. I need to drop Natter and all this other Buffista stuff except Premium.

Here is my Sunday night:

Some movie I skipped in the theatres. Wire, Brotherhood.

Yeah. I'd...make the tape. I saw on that behind the scenes special that some village in Ireland trades the tapes from house to house, they love it so much. Pelecanos is HUGE in the UK, too. But here in Arizona it's kind of like "George Who?" This makes me sad. But, honestly, a lot about being blue in a red state makes me sad. But I'm sure my hour's about up.

This is a test, right? The behind-the-scene thing placed tape-trading off somewhere in the Analog World like Trinidad & Tobago, where they do things with magnetic tape that the Digital World does with thumbdrives.

The Irish are watching Wire on the Gaelic channel, in American. Because -- let's face it -- if you can translate Wire into English, the jump from American to Gaelic is easy stuff..

Goddamit, they're showing it on TG4 when I'm OUT OF THE FUCKING COUNTRY? I STILL haven't got past Season One, and they weren't showing it in Ireland when I was there, and they're not showing it in England now I'm here. Goddamit.

I envy Jars.

Jars can look forward to seeing Season Two, which contains performances and writing that make the end-credits of the episode into a slap in the face that brings you groggily back to mundane reality.

Before Jars there still expands the lush, fertile valley of Season Three, which is like "Okay. Got Season Two firmly in mind? Good. Now fuck all that. Here is what it is really about."

I was going to do a whole thing on the "fertile valley" metaphor, but I got confused. With valleys, we need peaks. Which is like saying that Season Three is some kind of low ... thing. Which is all kinds of wrong, making my metaphor crumble into crumbly bits.

Crap. Now I've got metaphor all over the carpet.