Now you can luxuriate in a nice jail cell, but if your hand touches metal, I swear by my pretty flowered bonnet, I will end you.

Mal ,'Our Mrs. Reynolds'


The Great Write Way  

A place for Buffistas to discuss, beta and otherwise deal and dish on their non-fan fiction projects.


Deena - Mar 23, 2003 10:40:24 am PST #951 of 10001
How are you me? You need to stop that. Only I can be me. ~Kara

I like this small color. Your eyes are a small color. I cannot tell what. Like blue but green, only ice or opal with no fire.

She sits up suddenly, pushes the other completely on her back and brushes the hair out of her eyes, looking deep, looking for a spark.

When I first see you, with my companion all full of the Shakespeare books and me with nothing to show, and nothing to trade, at Smitties, we come there for me, to trade some small thing, but we are there late in the dark so we get a room and I take a bath. I love to take baths. Then we go down and smell the funny smells and there are almost no colors that are good, but we sleep inside and drink beer and talk, talk with friends and enemies and people we don’t know, so we can hear the stories.

In the morning, my head hurts and there is no trade except the small gray man in the corner, ribbons and plastics that no one wants scattered on a folding tray in front of him. He doesn’t look at us and we try not to look much at him because we do not ever want to be there in the corner like that. We are going, our small bags packed and the Shakespeare bundled safely. We pay and we go to the door, and there you are with the one who owns you. Your man has no good colors. He is dirty and his eyes are brown like shit without shine. He says you are worth more to him in an hour than the rings my companion holds out for you. So my companion cannot buy you because he doesn’t have enough rings. When I look at you, with your hair all colors falling down and your eyes hiding secrets, I think I feel something that makes my face red. I do not look at you. I look at the men. They talk serious. He says he cannot trade you for too little. I look at you again, and then I see that your skin is almost as brown as me, but there is white just under the top.

A small hand curves along the top of one breast.

Here, and I see that, and I want to see more, what is in the shadows. I am hot to my ears, but I still want to see. Then you smile, a little, at me. I have my rings to trade, and my companion is angry and talks about rights and slavery, but I remember what it is to be in the now and do what I must do. So, I give your man all the rings on my left hand and I take your chains in that hand and I walk away. He shouts that it is not enough, and that he wants his chains, but I do not listen because I know better. When we are outside, my companion is happy. He looks young, smiling wide with white teeth and lines around his mouth. His yellow hair flaps in the sun as he dances. He slaps my back and tells me that we will take you back to the gathering people, but I do not go. He gets angry, but I take you here, alone, because I want to know. I do not understand. I look at your eyes and I cannot see. I want to know what you see.

The chained girl stretches slim brown arms above her head and arches her back, bruises and scrapes occluded by the darkness and the flickering fire. Her eyes are flat. The links rattle. The speaker takes a key from her belt and removes the chains, setting them aside. A glint of knowledge in the eyes, a hand rises and slides to the back of the speaker’s neck, pulls her down, mouths meet. The speaker sobs as the kisses grow violent, both girls stroke and shift, rocks bruise bones through the thin blanket. They come together violently, the speaker finally spending herself by wrapping her thighs around the other girl and rocking violently, thrashing in her haste and eagerness. They sprawl together, half on the blanket, half on the ground, until the speaker’s heart slows and she realizes the blanket is wrapped around the other girl and she is alone, naked in the sand. She rolls away and speaks.

I do not know if you hear me. I wish you to. I will take you to the gathering people in the morning. They will give you my room, maybe. I have other clothes there. Maybe you will use them. Maybe you will know how to treat books.


Fay - Mar 23, 2003 10:49:10 am PST #952 of 10001
"Fuck Western ideologically-motivated gender identification!" Sulu gasped, and came.

Damn, Deena.

Damn, but that's good. Yes. Lovely. VERY evocative indeed.


deborah grabien - Mar 23, 2003 11:05:21 am PST #953 of 10001
It really doesn't matter. It's just an opinion. Don't worry about it. Not worth the hassle.

Aint it just, Fay? And yes, I'm preeny, because I helped with an edit to tighten. But it honestly didn't need much.

This:

The hushed sounds of the bush reassert themselves before the voice begins again. There is a rhythm to the speech, a melancholic call to prayer.

is frellin' lovely. It places me, I know precisely where I am in my head, and it resonates. So nice, being shown and not told.


P.M. Marc - Mar 23, 2003 11:13:03 am PST #954 of 10001
So come, my friends, be not afraid/We are so lightly here/It is in love that we are made; In love we disappear

I love it. The mood reminds me of a curious mingle of Atwood, Dick, and Ellison.


Deena - Mar 23, 2003 11:58:14 am PST #955 of 10001
How are you me? You need to stop that. Only I can be me. ~Kara

You are all SO good to me! Thank you.

I've suddenly heard the siren call of positive feedback and it's making me want more, which means I have to write more, which is very, very good.

and I just realized a very tiny continuity problem and edited the story a bit more.


Rebecca Lizard - Mar 23, 2003 1:18:24 pm PST #956 of 10001
You sip / say it's your crazy / straw say it's you're crazy / as you bicycle your soul / with beauty in your basket

Feedback is the drug, man.

So I don't. I avoid practicing the craft, or training in it, or considering the word and how it falls, because I'm afraid, if I put too much mind into it, the spirit will fly.

Yeah. And me-- t reiteratory t evil rationalist I don't understand how one can write well *without* doing those analysis-things. But somehow, magically, other people do that. And that's great, because it works for them; it's just alien to my own mindset.


Deena - Mar 23, 2003 1:20:19 pm PST #957 of 10001
How are you me? You need to stop that. Only I can be me. ~Kara

RL, ever read Camus? I'm suddenly reminded of the character who cried when he realized that the words he'd put together would be too alliterative in another language. Plague, IIRC?

I think some people are more intuitive at some things than others. So, while you need to consider the impact of each word, others need to consider other things. I'm just guessing, and also insent with the final (I hope) draft.


erikaj - Mar 23, 2003 1:25:55 pm PST #958 of 10001
Always Anti-fascist!

That's one thing studying writing in school gave me...the ability to analyze my work. I think I'd be flying by the seat of my pants still otherwise.


victor infante - Mar 23, 2003 6:40:53 pm PST #959 of 10001
To understand what happened at the diner, we shall use Mr. Papaya! This is upsetting because he's the friendliest of fruits.

Hey all. I have a serious question here.

A while back, I compiled a book of my "Infante's Inferno" columns and other selected writings. It's an odd, eccentric read, and I'm rather fond of how it came together. Kind of Hunter S. Thompson, only mostly sober. Mostly. Anyway...

I've had bites from agents, but most of them (including a couple I know) have warned me upfront that it's a difficult sell, better suited toward an alternative press or some such. I'm inclined to agree.

The other side of the puzzle is that the bulk of it was written between Sept. 11th and the start of the current war, so I'm living in fear of it being EXTREMELY dated by the time it ever comes out.

I have an opportunity to put it out as an e-book. I haven't fleshed out all the details yet, but it can be up extremely soon, and sell fairly cheap (looking at $5.) Oh, and I don't have to pay anything to have it put up, and I have the opportunity to resell it in print at any point.

So my question is, should I do this? Is it worth my while?


Deena - Mar 23, 2003 6:45:05 pm PST #960 of 10001
How are you me? You need to stop that. Only I can be me. ~Kara

These are the first things that come to my mind:

1. Can you sell it for print immediately after posting it/do both at the same time?
2. Do you have the resources to plug it yourself and/or will the download site plug it for you?
3. Will it benefit you (mentally, emotionally, financially) to sell it now vs. later or not at all?
4. Will its existence as an e-book make it even less attractive to a print concern, or will it sell so well as an e-book that it will be more attractive to a print concern?

I'm thinking it's a good idea if it costs you nothing and the benefits outweigh the drawbacks. Also, I'd buy it.