erika, I just emailed you; in looking at the attachment, I noticed a spot where I got clumsy and double copied a couple of paragraphs. It's the bit about the Bic-blackened teeth. Also, there's a closing parenthesis at the end, which is now just a fragment, since there's no opening parens; that should come out.

I think your transition thing has to do with the way you personally focus on stuff. I love transitions, love writing them, and rarely have trouble doing them, but I tend to want to focus on a single shiny thing, and very little distracts me from it. I suppose that's a good thing, in writing terms, but who knows?

I really like the way Erika writes. It's just different. It's like being thrown in the middle of a sea of images rather than getting one image at a time. I think it might work best at longer lengths, though. I'm looking forward to the Erika novel.

I'm looking forward to the Erika novel.

Oh, that's a big hell-yes.

(blush) It may take longer now, as y'all have made me nervous in re research. I guess I will have to call some local PIs and get at least an average rate, for instance. Because people do notice. And people do care.(Bloody smart Buffistas, making me work and call up strangers. Grr. argh.) Thanks, everyone, for putting such a good spin on the fact that my creativity works like a Cordy vision. Except I don't usually spew.I also don't have very much Wesley in my brain to help me figure out what I'm looking at.

Deb: This is from months back... But how did that apocalyptic clown story go? I'm drowning in a sea of term papers and could use a change of pace...

Brynn, finished and with the editor, who needs a boot up the arse from me. Shouldn't be too hard; we share an agent and he's here in town (San Francisco) doing readings at Borderlands. I might have to go threaten with a cluestick.

Why, did you want to read it?

thunks head repeatedly on dining-room table

I volunteered to beta a friend's YA novel.

I hope he'll still be my friend when I'm done.

That bad, eh? Wanna vent?

It's not horrible. It's just that it's very, very amateur, if that makes any sense. I'm not looking forward to explaining to him that handling exposition of historical fact by having two characters who already know this shit explaining it to each other is not a good way to handle things.

In general, the poor guy has trouble getting any kind of exposition--historical, character descriptions, etc.--across smoothly. For example: "Well, then it is a good thing the War is over..." David replied, referring to what would one day be called the French and Indian War or the Seven Years War.

ODL. I don't suppose he'd take kindly to being told he's got potential, but is making lots of beginner mistakes, and might benefit from an introductory book or community college course?