One of you is gonna fall and die, and I'm not cleaning it up!

Mal ,'War Stories'

The Great Write Way  

A place for Buffistas to discuss, beta and otherwise deal and dish on their non-fan fiction projects.

jengod - Sep 17, 2002 8:14:39 pm PDT #8 of 10001

Do ya'll do essays? I have an essay that John H. and Gar Lipow helped me with, but now that it's so vastly improved thanks to them, I need another read.

jengod - Sep 17, 2002 8:16:47 pm PDT #9 of 10001

Raisin Bran.

Holli - so good!

And I guess her post answers my question.

And did you ever go in the bathroom?

Beverly - Sep 17, 2002 8:36:01 pm PDT #10 of 10001
Days shrink and grow cold, sunlight through leaves is my song. Winter is long.

my mother used to take my sister and I to see our great-grandmother

Holli, if you're unsure about me or I, take out "my sister and", leaving "my mother used to take I/me". Trick I learned.

I can see the stacks of boxes. I can almost smell them. I want to know what's in the rest of them!

Rebecca Lizard - Sep 17, 2002 8:42:28 pm PDT #11 of 10001
You sip / say it's your crazy / straw say it's you're crazy / as you bicycle your soul / with beauty in your basket

I'd read it, jen.

Liese S. - Sep 17, 2002 10:24:43 pm PDT #12 of 10001
"Faded like the lilac, he thought."

It's really nice, Holli. I wonder how Aunt Biena felt about the opened box?

jengod - Sep 18, 2002 12:27:35 am PDT #13 of 10001

Holli, I was shocked to jump back and see this was a short story. It feels very real.

"nobody at school will give it the proper machete treatment"

Can you specify what you want to do with it? Does it need to be shorter?

And, FTR, my piece is about squashing infinite copyright extension. I'm an amateur and that's fine, but the less abject humiliation when I send it out, the better. (I don't actually want to be able to hear the laughter.)

Theodosia - Sep 18, 2002 5:46:19 am PDT #14 of 10001
'we all walk this earth feeling we are frauds. The trick is to be grateful and hope the caper doesn't end any time soon"

I, too, wondered if there'd be a reaction by Biena to her boxes being gone through. Maybe the narrator could accidentally knock one over and end up inadvertantly pawing through the contents that way? Speaking as a person with a couple of boxes myself, I'd feel less invaded if the pawing were 'blameless.'

Betsy HP - Sep 18, 2002 10:09:34 am PDT #15 of 10001
If I only had a brain...

Jengod, I know Eric Eldred. Cool.

deborah grabien - Sep 18, 2002 5:55:37 pm PDT #16 of 10001
It really doesn't matter. It's just an opinion. Don't worry about it. Not worth the hassle.

Holli, that's a charming story, and it took me back, rather; my mother died in 1994 and for some reason best known only to herself, she apparently kept everything she'd ever picked up in her entire life in a bazillion cartons, stacked to the ceiling joists. We actually found supermarket sale coupons from 1972. Everything was carefully bundled into rubber bands.

I liked your relatives' reactions, as well. All in all, I think that's some very nice work.

What are you calling it?

Holli - Sep 18, 2002 7:19:24 pm PDT #17 of 10001
an overblown libretto and a sumptuous score/ could never contain the contradictions I adore

I don't actually have a title yet-- they aren't something I'm very good at. I usually call things I write "that story, you know, the one with the thing" until somebody comes up with a better title.