Willow: Yes. Hi. You must be Angel's handsome, yet androgynous, son. Connor: It's Connor. Willow: And the sneer's genetic. Who knew?

'A Hole in the World'


The Great Write Way  

A place for Buffistas to discuss, beta and otherwise deal and dish on their non-fan fiction projects.


erikaj - Nov 12, 2004 8:12:22 am PST #7966 of 10001
Always Anti-fascist!

I'm sorry, Kristin. But it's great writing...hmm, will have to see what comes up through the sackcloth and ashes.


Pix - Nov 12, 2004 12:15:24 pm PST #7967 of 10001
We're all getting played with, babe. -Weird Barbie

Thanks both. Boy have I gotten a lot of writing out of that year...

I'm still pondering doing a companion piece to AmyLiz's piece about the parent-teacher meeting too.

Also, Deb, thank you so much for the ginger bread! It arrived today and is teh YUM.


Susan W. - Nov 12, 2004 12:37:46 pm PST #7968 of 10001
Good Trouble and Righteous Fights

I need some plot brainstorming help. It's been pointed out to me that Tracy, the blackmailer in Anna and Jack's story, is a bit too convenient a plot device--I make him threatening for just long enough to unstick the plot, and then all but deus ex machina him off the stage for good. My new critique partner thinks I should bring him back as a continuing threat, but I can't think of a good way to weave him in, and at some point I'd have to find a way to neutralize him. t shrugs

But then, this morning in the shower, that steamy source of all my best insights these days, I had a new thought: What if Anna kills him? Some of y'all may remember a drabble from a few weeks back setting the scene--Tracy sneaks into Anna's room in the dead of night, intent on blackmail and/or rape, in either case to solve his money problems by coercing her to marry him. She points a gun at him. I'd intended that she just use it to keep him at bay, but what if she shoots to kill? He threatens to use his position in the regiment to make sure Jack dies if she doesn't do what he wants, and I can totally see her pulling the trigger the instant the words are out of his mouth.

It would certainly make things interesting. I've been trying to combat my tendency to shirk from high stakes conflict by asking myself "What Would Joss Do?" I'm pretty sure he'd have her pull the trigger. But I'm not sure what all the new wrinkles would be, nor if they'd introduce more conflict than I'm prepared to handle. To wit:

1. Is Anna a murderer, A) in her own eyes, B) in the eyes of the legal system of the day, and/or C) in the eyes of the typical reader?

2. What are the legal ramifications? Would she have to stand trial, or would it be such an open-and-shut self-defense case that they'd let her go, keeping in mind that this is happening in the middle of an army on campaign? I need to get her on the way back to England within a few days of the incident, one way or the other, so this is an important thing to figure out, not that I'm expecting anyone here to be an expert on early 19th century British murder/manslaughter law.

3. What does it do to Anna and Jack? He'll definitely realize this had something to do with him....


Susan W. - Nov 12, 2004 12:41:46 pm PST #7969 of 10001
Good Trouble and Righteous Fights

Oh, and keep in mind that Tracy is more weak and desperate than mustache-twirling Evil.


Connie Neil - Nov 12, 2004 12:51:01 pm PST #7970 of 10001
brillig

I'm pretty sure the legal system would look dimly on such a thing. The scandal alone would be immense--no matter that he intruded in her room, the very fact that such a scandalous incident occurred would mark her as one of "those" sorts of women. Because after all, if Tracy has any kind of public name as a gentleman--whatever his private activities--he must have been lured/"driven to it" to be there in the first place. The social world would only have her word for it, after all, and do they have any reason to believe her?


Connie Neil - Nov 12, 2004 1:00:04 pm PST #7971 of 10001
brillig

For Anna's mindset, if she's not familiar with the type of gun, there's very good odds of it going off without her intending to, especially if she's frightened. (Trying to think of the poundage necessary for the trigger of a early 19th century handgun and how likely accidental shooting would be.) Unless you want her to be the type who would pull the trigger deliberately. Even then, the modern case would be manslaughter, not murder. She might not use the word "murderer" in her own mind, but "killer" would be there.

The modern reader would most likely let her off lightly in those circumstances. Buffistas would go "You go, sister!", but more average readers might want her to at least have remorse for being forced to take a life.


Susan W. - Nov 12, 2004 1:01:40 pm PST #7972 of 10001
Good Trouble and Righteous Fights

He's not especially well-liked. He's a "gentleman volunteer," i.e. a man of fairly good family but without enough money to buy a commission. Such men could get a recommendation to a regiment and essentially fight/train with the soldiers and mess with the officers until such time there was an opening for a lieutenant, and then if they'd proven themselves they'd be given the commission. Anyway, in his case it's become obvious he's basically a washout, hence his desperation and willingness to stoop to blackmail or rape.


Susan W. - Nov 12, 2004 1:04:10 pm PST #7973 of 10001
Good Trouble and Righteous Fights

For Anna's mindset, if she's not familiar with the type of gun, there's very good odds of it going off without her intending to, especially if she's frightened.

Thing is, as the story stands, she's familiar with the gun. Earlier in the story, she has to shoot a pistol in an unambiguous self-defense situation, botches it badly, and so takes the first opportunity she can find to learn how to fire a pistol properly.


Susan W. - Nov 12, 2004 1:18:32 pm PST #7974 of 10001
Good Trouble and Righteous Fights

Ooh--here's an idea. Anna has a cousin who's a major in her dead husband's regiment, and the way it's currently set up in my head, Anna is staying in the same house as her cousin and his wife, and if I go with the shooting option, they'd be among the first on the scene after hearing the shot. Would it make sense for them to believe, or pretend to believe, whatever story she chooses to tell, since she's family, and find a way to cover it up and hustle her off to England asap?

Still not sure I want to do it this way, since it darkens the story up a hell of a lot. OTOH, I tend to err on the side of being too nicey-nice, so maybe I should run with it.


Connie Neil - Nov 12, 2004 1:20:18 pm PST #7975 of 10001
brillig

So, not quite a gentleman. More blame attached to him, but I still see a situation of "no decent woman would allow herself to get in such a situation." Which makes no sense, but never did. Unless Tracy has someone who would push the point, the authorities would probably decide to let the matter go "to spare the scandal." Whispers would still go 'round.

I haven't read the work, so I don't know if Anna would castigate herself overmuch. I can see a whipsawing between "I had to defend myself!" and "It says 'Thou shall not kill,' and, oh, there was so much blood, and he whimpered and it was horrible."