I had technical problems last night, Deb. I suspect a conspiracy.
'Bushwhacked'
The Great Write Way
A place for Buffistas to discuss, beta and otherwise deal and dish on their non-fan fiction projects.
Heh. dcp, that was a definite memory, of watching my daughter learn to ride a bike. She never really took to it - I think your "how do I stop?" may be a universal moment, or close to it.
Drabble #24, First Time
The smell of sulphur is sharp and kind of sweet—even Carol is too new at this to own a lighter. The cigarette itself is a Marlboro Light, short and all white, and the filter paper sticks to my bottom lip as I cautiously inhale.
I have a mouthful—no, a lungful—of burnt tobacco, but I hold it in, desperate not to cough. I pass the butt back to Carol as I exhale, watching the thin gray trail disappear. Our shoulders touch as we huddle on her back porch in the twilight, wreathed in smoke, absurdly proud of ourselves.
He hadn't meant to. It's just...you know how angry he gets. His temper is no surprise to anyone. She had really messed up, she will admit it even today. And then she kept pushing and pushing.
What did she expect? What did any of us expect? Even though he'd never done it before, it was exactly the sort of thing he might do if you got him mad.
That first time, she wasn't pregnant. She hadn't needed to drive herself to hospital after he stormed out. That first time, she didn't tell her older sister where the damage came from.
AmyLiz, deb, thanks for that. The middle paragraph needs more work, though. Is this better? Or worse?
He is staring hard at the handle-bars as he tries to correct each wobble, and each attempt to pedal throws his balance off again. He weaves left, lurches right, and manages to maintain just enough speed to keep going.
It is less accurate to the memory, but also a less complicated image.
I gave up trying to find a succinct way of explaining that learning to stop was harder in the days when kids' bikes usually had coaster brakes and not hand brakes.
Jesus, ita.
dcp, I rather liked the original - it had the ring of memory to it. But you could do either way, with no damage to the piece.
Very strong, descriptive drabbles.
Love that AmyLiz. I remember that particular feeling of pride in doing wrong very well.
ita, I love your drabbles. They always freak me out.
dcp, I liked that one. I ended up in a blackberry bramble because I couldn't figure out how to stop.
Allergic
Their voices are coming from very far away.
Clear!
What happened?
Aunt Dolly, it was a bee, or something -
Clear - antihistamine - her heart's cutting out - hurry up!
Deb? Her eye, what's wrong with her eye, Alice, Felicia, what happened?
It was a bee, or a hornet, it flew past and stung her face, this didn't happen when I got stung, oh god is she dying?
Clear!
I remember noise, buzzing, somehow angry. Then a flash of light, no saliva in my throat, and now they're fading, voices, faces.
Deb?
My eyes close. The family becomes mist.
Maya and I are working out the details for a weekend with Suz Brockmann to kick off her book tour. There'll be some workshops for writers of romance and signings and Q&A and such. We're lining up a couple of other authors for workshoppy things.
It's sort of like a mini-romance writer con.
I'll post the info as soon as everything is solid, but it'll definately be mid-January.