Oh, hell.

In for a drabble, and out again. Crossposted in the livejournal Great Write.

First Look

I stand in a patch of dying sunlight, watching distant fog.

To my north, the mountain named for a sleeping Indian princess wears a mantle of evergreens. To my east are hills, browner, more aggressively tempered by lack of rain. To my south is the coastal range, that same sardonic fog leaking over rooftops, forming their own horizon. To my west is the setting sun, the tiny bump of the Farallone Islands, and beyond that, blue water where Kon-Tiki once sailed.

I look around me, at San Francisco. This is my first full view of the City.

I'm coming back.

Just got back from coffee with an assistant who was around when i was beginning the little journey through fandom into BIG NAME FANDOM (um, for lack of a better term) and got fantastic insight into the why of that part of it. It's making some things much easy to write, because I don't have to guess at the why, fumbling through it in order to explain.

Feeling inspired and wishing I could spend the night writing, but then, I have to work in the morning. Blargh.

Also got some good insight into the other side's view of fandom, which was uber-helpful in working out the why.

Having many things fall into place broke though some blocks.

My "first time" drabble. I'm a little hesitant about posting this. I've started and stopped a few times now, but it's what got stuck in my head when I read the theme and it won't go away. I don't really consider it to be about sex, but if anyone else does, I'll delete it. Maybe if I post it, I'll be able to get some sleep tonight. I apologize in advance for the subject matter. In case you're wondering, it is autobiographical, and it's hard to condense into 100 words.

There's a First Time for Everything

Aunt Colleen and her family come stay with us in our little house. I don't know them, but I want to.

Ray and Becky look grown to me. They’re sick, in the same room on separate beds. Ray beckons me in.

“Stop it. I’ll tell,” Becky yells, but Ray tells her to shut up.

I shake my head.

Serena, their sister, is pretty. She’s four, like me. She does it, so I sidle close, push my panties down like hers.

“I just want to see if you have any hair yet,” he says, and he strokes me between the legs.

Oh, Deena, so painful. And no, not about sex, IMO. Abuse never is. {{{Deena}}}

I'm impressed by all the drabbles, and I'm happy Deb is back!

I have one or two brewing in my brain, but no time right now to post. Only posting here because 200+ posts in Bitches and Natter that I don't have time for right now. My first contract negotiation mediation session (see? on topic!) was last night--we reached an agreement, but only after working from 4PM until 1AM. Fell asleep around 2:30. Alarm went off at 5:30.

Gronk.

Thanks, Kristin. It feels odd posting it. I'd never told anyone until I finally talked about it to my parents (during an argument, no less) when Nick was little. I don't think I've mentioned it to anyone since then, either. He didn't do anything else, so I never knew what to think about the incident.

Your night sounds like mine. Trying to function on 3 hours' sleep just sucks.

Deena, I...that's awful. {{Deena}}

I don't think I've mentioned it to anyone since then, either. He didn't do anything else, so I never knew what to think about the incident.

I wouldn't either. It's one of those things that is just with us, I think. Deena, thank you for sharing.
...
deb, you know, between your leg of Nilly!Tour, this drabble, and just your conversations about SF in general, the city ought to give you a percentage of its tourism budget. San Francisco is a city I've always wanted to visit. Since getting to know you, that feeling has only intensified. Scott went once, on business. I could have gone with him, and wanted to, so badly. Ben was a baby though, and since Scott was going to be at a conference, I envisioned myself coping all day, in a strange city, with a baby, (not to mention the flights to and fro) and decided that wasn't how I was going to do SF, once I finally got the chance.

{{{Deena}}}

Deena, that was incredibly powerful. The simplicity of the language really did it for me, in terms of capturing the perspective of a child at that age. And, also, {{Deena}}.

Susan, targeting those editors sounds like the most sensible thing to do, if you're going to enter contests. Picking contests that have looser judging/scoring criteria to follow is always best, too. Oh! And yeah, what you said about published authors liking your work better is definitely a good thing in my opinion, at least in this particular arena. Unpublished writers of all kinds have lots of wonderful advice to give and things to say about writing itself, but in this case I think the score sheet is a very easy temptation.

I love this drabble topic, yet I can't think what to fiocus on. Hmmm.

Hi, Deb! I love how much you love your city. It's the way I feel about NYC.

Thanks for the hugs, guys. It's nice to be able to write some of these things in a safe place. One of the things that has bothered me about my fiction writing is that, in my opinion, I mary-sue the characters because I'm uncomfortable with getting into the ugly. Being able to write this stuff will, I think, help with that.