OK, this is about 50 words too long, and it's stretching the definition of "under the bed" almost to the breaking point, but after our earlier discussion, I can't resist. Forgive me, Teppy!
Kama Sutra in the 95th
“Flaherty,” Robertson said.
“What?”
“You served in India, right?”
“I did. What of it?”
Robertson passed him the book. “Do the girls there really bend that way?”
Flaherty’s eyes bugged out.
“Give that back,” Jack said. Hard as it was not to laugh, he tried to inject a note of severity in his voice.
“But, Sergeant!”
“If I take that book back to Captain Kincaid covered in your grubby fingerprints, he’ll never let me borrow another.”
“We just want to look at the pictures!” Robertson said.
He held out his hand expectantly, and Flaherty handed it over with a sigh. Jack brushed off the cover, thrust it under his bedroll, and sat on it. That ought to keep it safe from prying eyes.
In the darkest hour of night when all but the sentries slept, he would go to Anna, and maybe they’d find out if Englishwomen could bend that way.
50 words too long or not, I love it!
I think very little feedback is critique, since most people assume that by the time they're reading it, the story is finished and won't be revised.
Which is why we tend not to analyze in GWW.
Although stories are often revised, edited, polished and otherwise altered in response to feedback.
50 words too long or not, I love it!
Thanks! It was fun to write. Jack is my favorite viewpoint character ever, and I just suddenly pictured him in that situation and had to run with it.
That ruled, Susan. Really.
Susan, that is a delightful scene. Will you keep it for your book?
t preens
Cindy, it's tempting. But I'm afraid the whole "look what Captain Kincaid found in a dusty bookshop last time we were in Lisbon" scenario is a little too far-fetched. I did, however, save it in my random drabbles section of that novel's folder on my hard drive, just in case.
You could include an outtakes reel chapter of drabbles, in the 25th Anniversary Edition.
I vote that the idea that Jack is the sort of man who would buy books in a far-off place makes him look all the nummier. I love that scene! Lucky Anna, oh my.
I'm probably feeling far too flattered for my own good, but I kinda need it this week. I've been making a concerted effort to send out freelance queries, especially to custom publishers (they do magazines and other content for companies who don't do it in house--they hire lots of freelancers and pay well), I've applied to teach a class at my local community college, etc. And so far it's not that I've been rejected, it's just that I might as well be dropping my info into a black hole. And IME, with emailed queries/applications, no news is bad news. Generally either you hear back right away, or you'll get a "sorry, not interested" in six weeks or six months. So it's been kinda discouraging.
