Plei, the bottom line is, you're going to need to figure out what the root cause of the muffling effect is; otherwise, anything you come up with is going to be a temporary patch and not satisfying in the long run. But finding the cause and going all eyefuck with it, that can be hurty.

Turning 30? I don't know. I've been poking my brain, trying to figure out if there's some root cause and utterly failing to find one. Well, other than the unseasonable heat.

I'll have a better idea if road tripping with my parents doesn't flip the on switch, because that will mean something is seriously tweaked.

Huh. Turning 30 ought to be flipping it precisely the other way: "Whoa! Dude! Whole new section of life to write about!"

But knowing how you react to road trips, as a writer? This should definitely clarify it.

Plei, mine lasted better than two years. I'm wishing you all the flipped-switch-ma in the world. Wouldn't wish it on anybody.

I needed to get "Parade" of the way. It was clogging up the works. It's in my LJ if anybody's interested.

Three for "Near Death Experience"

One

Cellophane crinkled enticingly, and my 10-month-old laughed and reached. Surely there was a reason why he shouldn't have it? I tried to rip it but it didn't tear, so let him have it. A moment later, he gagged, and before my eyes started to choke. I scrambled to my feet and grabbed him up, and slung him over my shoulder, hard. I heard as well as felt the whump of air leave his body. He started to cry, and I swept my finger over his tongue. Nothing. But on the floor lay a wet patch of cellophane, two inches in diameter.

Two

"Can the baby have a lifesaver?" the little girl asked.

I knew there was a reason not to, but I couldn't think of it. "How nice. Thank you."

Minutes later the 13-month-old gagged, and I remembered why not. His daddy went pale and shook him a little, but I grabbed him and slammed him belly-down across my knee.

"Whuhp!" A sticky red lifesaver sailed across the cement floor like a stone skipped on a lake surface. The baby coughed. I sat him up on my lap and he looked at me, eyes round, his expression clearly asking, "What?" and burped.

Three

There was green brush and a lot of paper from the old office that needed to be burnt. The day was damp, and Hank decided to use gasoline to help the fire along. He splashed it over the pile. I picked up the cat and started toward the house.

"Where're you going, chicken?"

I turned to answer him as he struck the match. There was little wind to spread the fumes. The fireball was twenty feet in diameter. The whump was felt a block away.

He ran, dove, rolled, got up, and ran to me, "I'm all right." He really wasn't.

But eventually, he was, again.

More Near-death Experience

Several Molotov cocktails too many, and their cell is blown. "Take her and run!" her brother says, and Dad does. Straight into Hitler's Germany, four years in a Displaced Persons Camp, and a son born.

They sift horse droppings for grain seeds to grind into flour, beg an empty ham can to make into an oven to bake the loaf. Trade their wedding rings for food.

The toddler stretches to peek out the window. She calls him away, and he comes, seconds before the unexploded bomb in the street outside goes off, destroying the window wall.

They leave for America with one suitcase, a box of tools, and a four year old. The crossing is rough, and she can't find him. She emerges on deck as the ship lurches and he slides toward the gap in the rail. She catches him. He is fearless. He will need to be.

Bev, those are three remarkable drabbles. Only one thing read off-kilter to me, and it was where you chose the paragraph break on the final drabble. My mind kept taking

He ran, dove, rolled, got up, and ran to me, "I'm all right." He really wasn't.

But eventually, he was, again.

and seeing

He ran, dove, rolled, got up, and ran to me, "I'm all right."

He really wasn't. But eventually, he was, again.

Now, um, URGENT. Can any of my beta readers read some new Matty stuff? A very scary little scene, split into two parts, and forming the new basis of Chapter Ten - and give me feedback?

Please?

edit: oooh, you posted that fourth one as I was commenting on the third one. This one's gorgeously vivid.

I can Deb.

Ro, on its way.

Thanks, Deb. I played with that, back and forth, and wasn't satisfied but decided to turn it loose anyway. I'll fix.

And I'd love to read your new scene.

I'm trying to convince my yahoo to attach. May take a second...