Now that you mention it...

I stink at thinking of suggestions like this, because ultimately, someone else's story. But having heard it, I think breaking up the introspection and research with some here-now is brilliant. And, also, now that you mention it, Lord C having worn Gaheris through a lot of the book like a smoking gun, I do realize now I was sort of holding my breath waiting for him to go off. Er, as it were.

And I have been actively prevented from getting through the ms. in a single run, and I apologize for my lateness. Prevented, I tell you.

But distractions have mostly been dealt with, and it shall happen. All I've got so far in 200+ pages is some line editing, so I'm not at all sure it will even be worth anything to you. But have it you shall.

Kewl. Bev, that was my feeling as well - the hawk needs to have a bit of a thing going on, and if it serves as the trigger to make Callowen get his head out of his autocratic arse and decide to help, so much the better.

What Beverly said about the falcon being a gun waiting to go off. Given the evil ghost's reason for being around in the first place, it might make sense for him to try to possess or suborn Lord C. Then, Gaheris could be instrumental for helping to bring him 'round in some manner.

Conversely, it might be interesting to see what happens if the falcon goes wiggy and tries to attack Lord C. with deliberate malice. That would definitely shake him up a bit and make him understand just how high the stakes are. Also, (spoiler font), if the bird does something ridiculous that makes him laugh at it, it would be an additional clue about how to get rid of the ghost.

I can't think of any reason to not use Lord Callowen's POV. I think it would be good because:

• like Chekov's gun above the fireplace, you do think the falcon needs more of a role than just local color.
• Lord Callowen is kind of a cipher. I'd like to see him have more personal motivation to get rid of the ghost.

I'm thinking in terms of Lord C waking up because he hears the birds out in the mews, screaming their heads off, and goes outside in slippers and robe to calm them down, and things happen...

Just got an email from the contest coordinator for one of the writing contests I entered in June, and I didn't final. Another slapdown for Hubris Girl. However, this was the one that was open to published authors, indeed sponsored by the Published Authors Special Interest Chapter of RWA. So I'm telling myself I must've been directly competing with Jo Beverley and Julia Quinn. Anyway. The first round scoring was by booksellers, and the score/comment sheets are to go in the mail this week. Should be an interesting source of feedback.

Aw, sorry to hear that, Susan.

Oh, Susan, I'm sorry. But--yes, competing with published authors is a tough room, and the feedback should be very useful.

And of course, I meant the loaded, not smoking, gun upthread.

Need lunch.

Susan, if you're bummed that you diidn't final because you were competing with Jo Beverly, just imagine how Jo Beverly is going to feel when she loses out to another published author.

In other news - which should possibly go in Literary, but that would mean me going into Literary, which aint gonna happen - I've just received confirmation that I'm indeed doing the (not a typo) Festival of Jewish Authors in December. Ought to be interesting: Of the four writers on the panel, I had one Jewish parent, and will be talking about growing up multifaith and rejecting all of them. Ayelet Waldman is Israeli by birth, but not remotely orthodox. Ellen Sussman's favourite food is crab-based sushi, and she's essentially Buddhist in her leanings. Only Victoria Zackheim writes about Judaism (her book, The Bone Weaver, dealt with the post-Holocaust world).

But the other three are all friends, and I foresee a fun weekend, especially if Ayelet hires a babysitter and brings Mister Hotter than the Surface of Mercury Pulitzer husband Michael with her.

I'm sorry that you didn't get to the final -- but competing against published authors -- wow.

The comments should be interested.