There are, hypothetically, earlier scenes in which Anna is explaining archaelogy to Kate. With intrusion, something appears to be older than it really is because it's in strata with older things. As is probably obvious, Anna is killed because of something she discovers.
Anybody can be a prop class clown.
Xander ,'Touched'
The Great Write Way
A place for Buffistas to discuss, beta and otherwise deal and dish on their non-fan fiction projects.
Ginger - Jun 17, 2004 5:17:26 pm PDT #5291 of 10001
"It didn't taste good. It tasted soooo horrible. It tasted like....a vodka martini." - Matilda
Pix - Jun 17, 2004 5:21:50 pm PDT #5292 of 10001
The status is NOT quo.
Can I cheat and post another fruit-themed poem since I didn't realize drabbles were open-format?
I'm taking the silence in this nice little posting box as enthusiastic support for this idea.
Here it is:
Grapes
I am trapped by a memory--
hands slipping across my body,
peeling off resistance
like the fragile skin of fruit.
I am raw remembering it,
shivering without my skin;
naked as a newborn.
Old grapes grow to wine.
Your memory is like that;
intoxicating, sweet, bitter.
Edited to fix line breaks
Polter-Cow - Jun 17, 2004 5:25:09 pm PDT #5293 of 10001
What else besides ramen can you scoop? YOU CAN SCOOP THIS WORLD FROM DARKNESS!
I complimented you once tonight; I'm not allowed to do it again, dammit.
Pix - Jun 17, 2004 5:29:58 pm PDT #5294 of 10001
The status is NOT quo.
The only thing I'm really ambivalent about in this poem is the cliche "naked as a newborn". I want the word naked in that line but am not sure if there is a better way to express the vulnerabilty I want to convey.
And P-C...thanks for the Not!compliment.
Polter-Cow - Jun 17, 2004 5:33:36 pm PDT #5295 of 10001
What else besides ramen can you scoop? YOU CAN SCOOP THIS WORLD FROM DARKNESS!
I want the word naked in that line but am not sure if there is a better way to express the vulnerabilty I want to convey.
Mole rat? The eye? Leslie Nielsen's gun?
I'm not helping, am I.
Ginger - Jun 17, 2004 5:39:49 pm PDT #5296 of 10001
"It didn't taste good. It tasted soooo horrible. It tasted like....a vodka martini." - Matilda
Just some wild brainstorming:
I am raw remembering it,
shivering without my skin;
unclothed, uncovered.
I am raw remembering it,
shivering without my skin;
exposed nerves twitching.
I am raw remembering it,
shivering without my skin;
flinching from a breath of air.
JohnSweden - Jun 17, 2004 5:43:59 pm PDT #5297 of 10001
I can't even.
intoxicating, sweet, bitter.
Ow. Very nice. That last made me have to catch my breath.
Yes, it might be stronger without the cliche. Something tactile again, hinting at the rawness? Sorry I don't have a more useful suggestion.
Pix - Jun 17, 2004 5:48:51 pm PDT #5298 of 10001
The status is NOT quo.
Thank you for brainstorming with me!
I really want that word "naked"...
Maybe..
I am raw remembering it,
shivering without my skin;
naked and exposed.
-ETA: or I could bring in the "you" from the last stanza...
"naked to his touch"
or something???
Polter-Cow - Jun 17, 2004 5:50:12 pm PDT #5299 of 10001
What else besides ramen can you scoop? YOU CAN SCOOP THIS WORLD FROM DARKNESS!
Works for me.
Ginger - Jun 17, 2004 5:57:10 pm PDT #5300 of 10001
"It didn't taste good. It tasted soooo horrible. It tasted like....a vodka martini." - Matilda
"naked in his grip"
Maybe "naked against his touch"? Grip seems a little strong, considering that we'd end up with smushed grapes. (Naked against his stomping feet. Okay, Ginger, it's time to shut up.)