Oh, that's funny. In a brilliant way. I like how, to me, it's in response to the surgeon's intellectual response to her emotional pain.
Anybody can be a prop class clown.
Xander ,'Touched'
The Great Write Way
A place for Buffistas to discuss, beta and otherwise deal and dish on their non-fan fiction projects.
Polter-Cow - May 10, 2004 10:15:12 am PDT #4543 of 10001
What else besides ramen can you scoop? YOU CAN SCOOP THIS WORLD FROM DARKNESS!
Beverly - May 10, 2004 10:22:26 am PDT #4544 of 10001
Days shrink and grow cold, sunlight through leaves is my song. Winter is long.
Geez, Deb. That's white-hot fuckyou, Dr. Kildare, isn't it?
deborah grabien - May 10, 2004 10:28:00 am PDT #4545 of 10001
It really doesn't matter. It's just an opinion. Don't worry about it. Not worth the hassle.
Like I said, autobiographical. He was astonished by it - it took about 45 seconds to do it, too.
Man, I was a musician. Don't tell me you can't fix this shit.
Gris - May 10, 2004 10:41:10 am PDT #4546 of 10001
Hey. New board.
Man, I'm an angsty teenager if ever there was one. And I'm not even a teenager. Anyway, first submission:
I wonder what it would feel like to take her hand in mine. To take her hand, to feel her touch, to connect physically, intimately, for the first time.
And holding would lead to squeezing, and squeezing to caressing, and then, suddenly, the future...
I'll be playing with her fingers. One by one I'll count them and rub them, as I tickle her palms. Our hands, our bodies, our lives - connected. A kiss, a smile, and I'll lie down next to my love, my only love, and be happy.
If only...
If only I could take her hand.
Polter-Cow - May 10, 2004 10:47:09 am PDT #4547 of 10001
What else besides ramen can you scoop? YOU CAN SCOOP THIS WORLD FROM DARKNESS!
That's ultrasappy, dude. But it's sweet.
Our hands, our bodies, our lives - connected.
This is a nice bit, and I think one that could be expanded. As it stands, it's still a bit over the top, but I like the concept.
Gris - May 10, 2004 10:55:47 am PDT #4548 of 10001
Hey. New board.
Of course it's sappy. I'm a sappy guy.
Also, I kinda meant it to be over the top.
Don't you ever get super-sappy-gross when you first have a real crush on somebody? Most of the poem is meant to be imagination, the overactive, impossible imagination of somebody (me) when in the earliest, flirtatious, not-even-a-relationship stages of a relationship. A silly dream of the perfection that might be, but probably won't.
Polter-Cow - May 10, 2004 10:58:28 am PDT #4549 of 10001
What else besides ramen can you scoop? YOU CAN SCOOP THIS WORLD FROM DARKNESS!
Also, I kinda meant it to be over the top.
Oh, good. Then you succeeded!
sj - May 10, 2004 10:58:48 am PDT #4550 of 10001
"There are few hours in life more agreeable than the hour dedicated to the ceremony known as afternoon tea."
Wonderful drabbles, everyone. I have a couple of ideas, but I need to think about it a bit more.
§ ita § - May 10, 2004 11:24:59 am PDT #4551 of 10001
Well not canonically, no, but this is transformative fiction.
The skin of his knuckle is split. He does too many things, presenting his body with myriad opportunities to hurt itself. It will heal, though, and quickly. Speed is one of his talents, always fast to develop, fast to learn, and fast to move.
I look at his calluses; press his work-earned roughness between my softer palms every chance I get. I wonder what they're like when he is unhurried; imagine the slow friction of his fingertips dragging lightly against tender skin. Can they still be sensitive, or would I have to make up for that elsewhere on his body?
Beverly - May 10, 2004 12:08:14 pm PDT #4552 of 10001
Days shrink and grow cold, sunlight through leaves is my song. Winter is long.
Whuh. (fanning self) Hot in here?