Oh, Ginger. That's heartbreaking.

Deb, if you haven't found an answer to your question about the French yet, you might find it here:

[link]

If not, you might find useful links on one of these sites: [link] [link]

Ye. Still hate dreaming. A sleep drabble.

It brings out my insecurities. It makes me feel that what’s real, is not. It preys on my weaknesses. I am sad, upset, crying. I feel not worthy. I feel unloved. I am betrayed and lost. It is happening again. I am unchosen, I am not right and he leaves me.

Even when I know it is all bullshit and he does love me and does choose me and he is here and he is staying, sleep has the power to change it. It can make me feel small and alone and scared.

I need sleep. It helps me believe.

Is BtVS not shown in France?

It is. Sometimes subtitled, sometimes dubbed. In the dubbed version, Xander becomes Alex. Also, Mr. Pointy is M. Pointu. (A few years ago, when I hadn't taken any French classes in a year and was starting to feel like I was forgetting it, I started reading random French websites to keep the language in my brain, and hit on a French site that included, among other things, Freudian analysis of many characters. M. Pointu was mentioned frequently.)

The table of contents from a book on publishing from 1928. Plus ca change, as they say ...

The ruinous policy of large royalities -- Why "bad" novels succeed and "good" ones fail -- Are authors an irritable tribe? -- Has publishing become commercialized? -- Has the unknown author a chance? -- The printer who issues books at the author's expense -- The advertising of books still experimental -- The story of a book from author to reader -- The limits of the book market -- Plain words to the authors and publishers -- On editorship -- On writing.

Thanks, all. The cover is supposedly following the theme set in Weaver, peeling back the page to reveal the history. I think it's going to be a theatre. I do trust them implicitly when it comes to covers -they've never let me down yet.

Aimee, that piece had a nice duality to it.

Ginger, oh Jesus, that's powerful and harsh. That one's a woodcut, all by itself. I know just what you mean, and also what you mean about it being outside your comfort zone; two of mine were, as well. But it's oddly cathartic, isn't it?

(deep breath)

You know what I find interesting? Looking at the really raw emotions in some of these, and seeing where we, as writers, distance ourselves for safety. Mine are all first person - this is less brave than it is almost habit, because I forced myself to learn how to do it as a kind of self-induced therapy for grief, years ago. Ginger is observing the woman in the hospital bed, third person - someone who didn't know Ginger wouldn't know whether it was personal experience (although personally I think it's powerful enough to be clear that it's the writer doing, rather than the writer watching) and yet, even with the safety buffer, the piece is wrenching and real.

There have been some intensely powerful things written. Once again, Teppy needs cookies and hot and cold dancing boys and whatever else she'd like to make her happy, by way of thanks for this community.

Off to edit. Still have 170 or so pages to do. I want to shame them by getting it turned around and back out in one day.

edit: D'OH! Deena, those links are bookmarked. Heading to read in about five minutes. You ROCK.

Aimee, that piece had a nice duality to it.

Thanks. Def outside my comfort zone since my dreams almost always deal with stuff I'd rather die than talk about.

Writing the drabbles has been so good for me these past 2 weeks. I've taken them to my therapist and we're working the writing into my homework. She's also giving me assignments on a weekly basis. This week, as inspired by the drabble on my OBC, we are going to be working on that for the next while as he seems to be the source of my rage.

Anyway, it feels so good to write again and I'm pissed I ever gave it up.

Third person from habit. I forced myself to give up first person years back because it was easy for me. Third is harder, I have to think about it more. Also, yeah, distance, a bit.

#1. Her eyes scan the screen, reading, reading, pages open to her favorite sites, the ones that are her company in the wee hours, her hand poised over the mouse as she clicks from one to the other. All caught up, or the words no longer make sense. She sways, her eyes close, seconds pass until her tipping posture jerks her back to consciousness. And at last she feels ready. Power down, lights off, she slides between the sheets. The smooth cotton of the pillow caresses her face, her eyes close. Years of staring into the dark have taught her well.

#2. Her body taps at her awareness, the ache of joints too long in one position, the urgency of bladder, the realization of light on her closed eyelids. She shifts position, tries to will herself back into the dream, but the cat has heard her turn over, and he pats with soft paws at her curled hand, the tender inside of her forearm. He purrs into her ear and his whiskers tickle. She can't help jumping, and there's no going back now, she's awake. She sits up, stretches, glances at the clock. Five hours isn't bad.

Beverly, I relate to that first one so much you have no idea.

I probably did write in the third person as a defensive mechanism in that one. I've tried to write in a journal, but I could never do it, because to write something is to relive it. Also, my training and experience is as a journalist, so it's hard to put myself in the story.

I also want to thank Teppy for the drabble idea. It's helped me a lot. Now I have to nerve myself to tackle longer pieces.

It's been interesting to see how different the drabbles are in their focus. Some are tiny stories in their own right, and others, such as Beverly's second one, feel like a piece of a novel, with just the right detail, but more story somewhere.

I'm such a bitch for first...cause I type therefore I am, huh?Like this: I didn’t sleep well again last night. I don’t know why. Sometimes the room isn’t right; too hot or too cold. Sometimes I feel my thoughts chasing each other in a most unrestful way. Sometimes I get a good look at the people in power on my TV and shiver too much. Sometimes it’s an inconvenient burst of energy, or the book I can’t put down. The cheap lure of television, or too much garlic, a noise outside I can’t place. Inspiration, or , all too rarely, happy anticipation. Sleep may be natural, but that doesn’t make it easy for me.