Huh. I thought the repetition was deliberate: as in, awkward teenager, think again, awkward teenager. I thought it was there to smack home the "fishnet tights" line.

Do you think the repetition works?

Holli, that is an amazing story. Very powerful.

sj, I thought it worked fine. But if you had a different intent, it would probably work just as well with that - it comes down, in the end, to where the author wants to take it.

edit: and how did I miss this?

"And I guess I'll just wallow in self-pity now." (/Pissy!Munchkin) :)

Oh, you so will NOT, madam. Don't I praise your meatloaf and bake you lemon bread? Huh?

Huh. *Finally* got my damned AIM up, and Holli, I think I missed you. Let's try again in the morning or tomorrow night.

Thanks, Kristin, erika, and especially deb. It's funny that you used the word "instinctive" - I more often than not find myself being criticized for filtering things too much, thus mostly preventing myself from doing things instinctively.

Oh, and I think that the biggest advantage for me, when reading in not-my-first-language-English, in which I need to actually read, as opposed to Hebrew, in which it's a completely automatic process and if anything I have to stop myself from reading, is that I have to pay more attention in order to follow the words and their meaning, and this way I can discover things that would escape me in Hebrew. Either that, or I'm just reaching to find something good about reading slower, and therefore less.

Holli, I really liked your piece. Something I don't think anybody has mentioned before - I loved the contrast in the images that were build in my mind, of the two "backgrounds", in the lack of a better word, for each story. You being alone in a cool basement for the first one, you being with your friends and the description of your costumes, in the other. I especially liked this:

shook my head and set my antennae wobbling, and wished that I had known Peter so I could know which story to believe.

because of that contrast, the sweet costume and the death, being together in one sentence. I don't know why, but it made the point of the finality of death even stronger, for me.

I have found the writing book i've been looking for. "I'd Rather Be Writing", by Marcia Golub, from Writer's Digest Books. It talks about self-defeating behaviors, coping with a family who think they have a right to your time, and stuff like that.

This woman is me! She's saving her manual typewriter for when the comet hits, and when her parents died she found herself taking mental notes for use later. Now I just need to stop squriming when she says something that I don't want to do.

Yeah...this is true. Only kidding. I know you don't have a perfect partner, Mitch.

Holli, wow. Your last sentence brought the tears to my eyes. It seems to me that this sums it up perfectly.

...I have a manual typewriter tucked away, too.

Ah, Return of the Underwoods....

I don't...my fingers are not strong enough and I'm Typo Queen...I do miss the productive-sounding click though.

I've got an idea for a drabble theme--the first time you really appreciated music, be it rock/pop/classical/the blues, whatever.

(Yes, I'm listening to some music, and it's made me thoughtful)