Like these guys, pretty much?
You got fired, and you still hang around here like a big loser. Why can't he?
Cordelia ,'Chosen'
The Great Write Way
A place for Buffistas to discuss, beta and otherwise deal and dish on their non-fan fiction projects.
§ ita § - Nov 25, 2002 5:04:35 pm PST #407 of 10001
Well not canonically, no, but this is transformative fiction.
Hil R. - Nov 25, 2002 5:10:11 pm PST #408 of 10001
Sometimes I think I might just move up to Vermont, open a bookstore or a vegan restaurant. Adam Schlesinger, z''l
Do you have Word set to Spell Check as you Type? Or whatever the real name of that section is? Those are two different functions, Spellchecking and Checking as You Type.
Usually it'll underline misspelled words. Now when I tried typing that phrase again in the same document, it automatically changed "focussed" to "focused" and underlined the other two.
John H - Nov 25, 2002 5:16:11 pm PST #409 of 10001
Like these guys, pretty much?
Bastards stole my idea! That I stole from George Bernard Shaw!
erikaj - Nov 25, 2002 5:39:08 pm PST #410 of 10001
Always Anti-fascist!
Thank you. And now I find that out, after I switched to "focused", that I could've been right the first time?!Argh.
sumi - Nov 26, 2002 7:48:12 am PST #411 of 10001
Art Crawl!!!
Woo hoo erikaj!!
Am-Chau Yarkona - Nov 30, 2002 1:15:39 pm PST #412 of 10001
I bop to Wittgenstein. -- Nutty
Okay, inviting opinions:
Sky Horse
A horse, trotting daintily through the sky;
Pauses a moment to graze a tree-top;
Then jumps over a drifting cloud
and is gone.
A great grey horse of the moon,
Chalky on a pagan hillside.
dance ballerina-like on the knife edge
roof top – leap in dressage over a
satellite ariel.
Glimpsed only from an aeroplane of dreams,
Or the startled eyes of a sleepy bird,
the moon-horse lives in the air,
and is gone.
erikaj - Nov 30, 2002 7:00:53 pm PST #413 of 10001
Always Anti-fascist!
It seems like you switched verb tenses in the third stanza. You might want to be more consistent.I liked it otherwise, interesting image.
Am-Chau Yarkona - Dec 02, 2002 12:42:06 pm PST #414 of 10001
I bop to Wittgenstein. -- Nutty
There is something odd there, erikaj. The verbs are: 'trotting', 'pauses', 'jumps', 'dance', 'leap', 'glimpsed' and 'lives'. If they all go into the same tense, say the present. The ones we have to change are 'dance', 'leap' and 'glimpsed'.
A horse, trotting daintily through the sky;
Pauses a moment to graze a tree-top;
Then jumps over a drifting cloud
and is gone.
A great grey horse of the moon,
Chalky on a pagan hillside,
dances ballerina-like on the knife edge
roof top – leaps in dressage over a
satellite ariel.
Glimpses only from an aeroplane of dreams,
Or the startled eyes of a sleepy bird,
the moon-horse lives in the air,
and is gone.
Is that an improvement? I've explained my method for singleing out what to change in case there's something I didn't spot.
erikaj - Dec 02, 2002 12:46:59 pm PST #415 of 10001
Always Anti-fascist!
I think it's better, but YPMV.
Am-Chau Yarkona - Dec 02, 2002 12:49:13 pm PST #416 of 10001
I bop to Wittgenstein. -- Nutty
Thanks for the imput, erikaj- I'm not sure about it. I think changing the full stop after 'hillside' to a comma has made more difference to the feel of the poem than changing the verbs around. I'll sleep on it for a while, and in the meantime I welcome other opinions.