Uh, I think I would take it to my bunk...
Plus bonus points for use of the word 'mosey'.
Oz ,'Same Time, Same Place'
The Great Write Way
A place for Buffistas to discuss, beta and otherwise deal and dish on their non-fan fiction projects.
erikaj - Apr 19, 2004 10:20:23 am PDT #4054 of 10001
Always Anti-fascist!
Strix - Apr 19, 2004 10:32:32 am PDT #4055 of 10001
A dress should be tight enough to show you're a woman but loose enough to flee from zombies. — Ginger
Oh, Victor, NICE.
Sometimes you don't need to make anything of them; you just need to make them.
victor infante - Apr 19, 2004 11:58:58 am PDT #4056 of 10001
To understand what happened at the diner, we shall use Mr. Papaya! This is upsetting because he's the friendliest of fruits.
Thanks, all. Glad to know I'm on the right track with it.
I think what my question is, is do I need to paint in some picture of what's gained from fidelity? Is there anyway to do that without moralizing, which I have no interest in doing.
deborah grabien - Apr 19, 2004 12:14:30 pm PDT #4057 of 10001
It really doesn't matter. It's just an opinion. Don't worry about it. Not worth the hassle.
Victor, I don't think so - justification doesn't seem to be the impetus behind the piece.
What you've done is to offer a beautifully written little precis on why temptation is human. And in point of fact? The fact that you aren't taking the girl up on her unspoken invitation is its own justification.
I don't think it needs anything.
victor infante - Apr 19, 2004 12:29:34 pm PDT #4058 of 10001
To understand what happened at the diner, we shall use Mr. Papaya! This is upsetting because he's the friendliest of fruits.
I don't think it needs anything.
Hmm. I'm leaning this way myself. Still, worth pondering.
deborah grabien - Apr 19, 2004 12:32:49 pm PDT #4059 of 10001
It really doesn't matter. It's just an opinion. Don't worry about it. Not worth the hassle.
Not necessarily, Victor. You ponder too much, you'll end up overanalysing the thing and bitching it up. Let it be - it's as close to perfect as it gets.
Atropa - Apr 19, 2004 3:06:15 pm PDT #4060 of 10001
The artist formerly associated with cupcakes.
Victor, that piece is stunning.
Because I just skimmed and skimmed and skimmed, are we posting our responses to the drabble challenges here?
Steph L. - Apr 19, 2004 3:17:25 pm PDT #4061 of 10001
I look more rad than Lutheranism
Jilli, you can if you like; I think most people have been, but it's not a requirement.
Atropa - Apr 19, 2004 3:19:47 pm PDT #4062 of 10001
The artist formerly associated with cupcakes.
Drabble #2: place
Almost-but-not-quite too dark to see, red walls and glossy black tables that only show up in the flickering of the candle flames and the rhythmic punctuation of the strobes. The flare of a lighter gives a snap shot glimpse of dark eyes and a pout, both outlined in black.
It smells faintly of the sweat from the dance floor, but is almost hidden by the sharpness of a spilled drink, a haze of cigarette smoke, and eddies of incense. If it were quiet, you’d be able to hear the creak of leather, the faint squeak of vinyl, the rustling of lace and petticoats. But even the most private of conversations can be held in shouting anonymity, hidden under the thundering music screaming about lust, darkened dreams, and decay.
Atropa - Apr 19, 2004 3:44:02 pm PDT #4063 of 10001
The artist formerly associated with cupcakes.
Aaaaand one other, which I'm not sure I'm happy with, but oh well.
By day, there’s just a ragged expanse of green, punctuated with bright dandelions. Bordered on two sides by battered wood in need of more white paint, on another by chain link almost hidden under bindweed, thistles, and blackberry vines, it could be any carelessly-maintained back yard.
By night, the bindweed, thistles, and blackberry vines are iced silver by the moon. By night, you know the apple tree is growing toward something instead of merely being bent by time. The breezes don’t bring bees and butterflies, but the scent of unknown flowers, and whispers just at the edge of hearing.