Susan, I had one person tell me the characters in my books are too civilised.

I pointed out they were Brits. Left the nice brawly American lady to figure out why that made a difference...

Heh. I had to work at convincing a member of my group that my hero, Jack, who's been in Portugal and Spain more or less continuously for three years or so, would speak pretty good Spanish. Because Brits don't usually bother learning other people's languages. I stuck to my guns, since the Brit in question is smart, curious, and cognizant of the value of speaking the language of people who might offer an allied army useful intelligence and support.

Thing about Jack is that he reminds me a lot of my father--I didn't write him that way on purpose, but it occurred to me after I'd written a little from his POV that if there's ever a book I should dedicate to Dad, this is the one. So now I'm trying to decide what Dad's flaws are, just to see if that'd work for Jack, and, you know, I'm lucky, because it's hard. I mean, he loses his temper if you push him really hard, and he doesn't suffer fools gladly, but I'd have a hard time writing those as anything other than virtues...

Well, there are times not suffering fools gladly can edge on intolerance. And under certain circs, that could get your hero (or heroine) into deep trouble, especially if they're abroad.

Deb, I'd be glad to read. Tomorrow is a reading day. I'm staying offline except for email, and catching up on my beta duties. As well as some other stuff.

Susan, a woman in my group has had to be pushed to describe, well, pretty much anything. She says she doesn't want to bore us with trivia. When pushed, she admitted since she sees everything so vividly, she actually thought she was writing it into the story. We set her exercises, of describing in as many senses as possible. She found it really hard, but she got better with practice. It's still not natural to her, and she has to push to get there, but she's aware of the need to expand a little, now.

I'm a very sensual reader, and I like smells and sounds and textures, as well as visual cues. Dialogue is important, depending on the scene as Deb says. But the scenery must be painted, the orchestra rehearsed and ready, and the costumes worn with some authority to pull me into the story and give me a chance to have an emotional reaction or relationship with characters.

Well, the one thing that's going to get Jack into deep trouble is the fact he's not hiding his contempt for someone who outranks him quite as well as he thinks he is. Which will lead to that officer having no compunction whatsoever about screwing him over when he has an opportunity to advance his own interests by doing so. But still, Jack isn't the one with the big flaw here--letting frustration with incompetence show is pretty minor compared to blackmail and threatened murder.

Beverly, it sounds like I have the opposite problem--I'm not a visual thinker, and the only things in my stories I see clearly are the characters themselves. I have to work very hard to imagine things like room furnishings or anything more specific to scenery than "hilly" or "wooded."

I'm entirely too wordy. When I'm actually, you know, writing. I drown readers in detail.

I was trying to practice a spare style. I think I did it entirely too well.

Bev, Deena suggested a few points - I want to do them up in the morning (won't take more than a minute or two) and I'll send then. And thanks, love.

I like spare that's also sensual - I'm a sensualist in pretty much everything, including writing, but sensual to me doesn't necessarily mean detailed. I like using descriptions like freight trains: ten words should imply fifty, if I'm doing my job.

Susan, rather than making Jack faulty, why not make the fault be that he can't see the good in someone he holds in contempt?

I'm a sensualist in pretty much everything, including writing, but sensual to me doesn't necessarily mean detailed. I like using descriptions like freight trains: ten words should imply fifty, if I'm doing my job. (italics mine for emphasis).

Yessss! What I love about your work, and go over with a would-be writer's magnifying glass and a wistful trace of envy. "How does she do that!"

why not make the fault be that he can't see the good in someone he holds in contempt?

I dunno. I can't have too much good in this guy, because he needs to be the villain of the piece to keep the plot moving. However, hopefully at least some of my readers will pick up on the fact that the villain is weak and desperate rather than mustache-twirling evil, and that even so he probably wouldn't have tried to solve his problems by blackmailing Anna and Jack if they hadn't both snubbed him earlier in the story.

But it's early days yet. I've only just now finished Chapter Two. Maybe Jack will reveal enough flaws to avoid Marty-Stu-ishness as I go along.