go back and insert a few little bits in "Matty", pointing to echoes that later become louder

deb, I'm actually in the middle of reading it pretty much right now, so if I can offer any help, I'd love to.

Woof. OK - I did some work yesterday, and added those bits. Want me to send, with explanations?

Actually, I'll just send. WIth explanations. Not awake yet.

HELP.

Any of my beloved beta readers around? I spurted and this is new and spooky (not ghosty, just spooky, I think) and I need a beta...

Deb, I'm here. Shoot it over.

Deb, are you on AIM?

Deena, insending.

Holli, I am now...

And returned, Deb.

Today my writers group told me the scene from Anna I brought it was "very visual." That's a first, and something of a triumph. Problem is, it doesn't yet feel like an organic part of my writing. I think, "Oh yeah, there's that visual description thing my betas always say I lack. Should try to put something in. Let's see, what would my POV character be noticing? That the stuffed-shirt lieutenant who'll eventually be the villain of the piece is practically the only person left in the unit wearing a completely regulation uniform, with shiny silver buttons and well-polished boots. OK, I'll describe that, and contrast it to Mr. POV's rather frayed jacket and the boots he looted off a French corpse." And apparently it works, but I have to think about it hard. Dialogue is by far the most natural kind of writing for me, and I can't figure out why, since I'm rather introverted and hardly a witty conversationalist.

That's interesting, Susan. I think I'm the opposite, because of the time I spent writing text rpgs, where it's all sensual and the players fill in all the dialogue. I notice that my most recent piece is all description and action and introverted What They Feeeel, and very little actual conversation.

I like it balanced, but you have to go with the requirements of the scene, I think.