Substitute "disability-rights movement" for writing group, and btdt.

Victor, I just now read your essay because I'm slow, and I didn't want to say "I'M A FAILING WRITER". But I did, and it's really wonderful and I'm glad you wrote it and that I got to read it.

I really need to get back to work. My novel (and boy do I feel that should be in quotes) suddenly wants to be a graphic novel, and I think that's because I'm a damned jackdaw, always excited about the shiny thing, and I don't know how to go about writing something like that, at least not yet, though I'm going to learn, because I'm interested now.

I find I have these constraints in my head that usually allow me to write a decent story; but when I can snip those cords, sometimes I'm actually close to brilliant and intriguing and somewhat escheresque. But I don't know how to snip them and keep them snipped. That's what's got me stalled right now, and led me to start wondering about graphic novels.

Bev, would some more takes from this end on WIP help? I could assemble the notes and send them along. But having taken ten years off because I hated the industry and had nothing to say, me telling you to hang in with the group would carry about very little weight.

edit: and besides, I think Teppy and erika are right. If you feel like leaving that group? Your decision, and no one else's.

I'd love to hear them, Deb. I need a WIP. Maybe. Or maybe I just need to stop hoping the switch will flip back to "on".

Maybe I need to just walk away, get involved and invested in other things, and let the writing go. If it's meant to be it'll come back, and if it wasn't, then letting go now rather than later is a good thing. Giving up that self-identification is so very difficult, but hanging onto it feels more and more unearned and wrong.

I wasn't sure--still am not--this thread was the appropriate place for this subject. So thanks for the input, and sorry for the hijack.

Bev, you know, it's just possible that you self-identified less with the writing than with the project. It's possible to put a shitload of self into a project and then simply have it fizzle or stall out - that happens every day, to damned near everyone who writes.

So it's possible that you just need a new WIP. Does this one have to be the One and Only?

Oh, no! That's not what I meant at all. I finished that WIP a couple of years ago, and had moved on to poetry, which I had neglected finishing the book, and nonfiction, which actually I'd always thought was my strongest effort. I kept writing, growing, learning. Was an active member of two groups, taking classes, recruiting for classes and group meetings, critiquing, even brainstorming with writers with stuck plots.

But for the last year or so--nada. I've always been able to write something, even if the results were not very good. I'm not as good at poetry as I am at nonfiction, and I suck rocks at short fiction, but there was always something going on in my writer's brain. For the last year, it's just been echoingly empty. It was very scary, and I kept busy with the peripherals, the group stuff, the working on other people's stuff, started an lj, and managed a few pretty good pieces there. But lately? Nothing. I log in at lj and hit update, start typing and just stall. There's nothing left in the well. The most I manage is a longish, maybe-insightful email now and then. I'm way behind on my New Year's cards because I can't come up with two interesting sentences to scribble on each one.

The only reason I'm posting here is the chance to whine. I'm tired of worrying about it. I'm tired of carefully not worrying about it. I'm tired of being patieint and good and waiting for "it" to come back. I think it's time I just got up off my rear and did something else entirely and stopped waiting, expecting, hoping. If I'm knee deep in the next phase of my life and the words come flooding back, so fast I can't find the time to write them down, good.

If not, then at least I'll be in the next phase of my life and accomplishing something--else.

Damn. No, I do understand that entirely - after all, I just stopped for ten years.

All I can do then is say that I hope they do come flooding back, to enrich you again.

Fourthing the "not their decision to make" vote from above.

I've also taken long periods off from actively writing. I'm very slowly working my way back into. Because I can't "not" do it at some level. Sometimes writerliness is more active than others. No one else's judgement to make.

I must go read Victor's article posthaste, I think.

I'm commited for a week in March as a "writer in residence" (hah!), and I've already decided that will be the last dedicated effort at writing for a while. No phone, no distractions, just a room and a desk and a chair for four-five days. I have volunteered to talk, while I'm there, to a high school class about writing--that's a way to pay my freight, as it were, for the residency. If nothing genuine happens, then that's it. I'm officially detaching from the group. I may specify a six-month break, just to cushion it a bit. But I just don't feel right going on the way I have been.

Thank you for your backup. It was sorely needed today.

I wasn't sure--still am not--this thread was the appropriate place for this subject. So thanks for the input, and sorry for the hijack.

Of course this is the place for this subject. Struggling with inspiration/identity is as much a part of any writers life as reams of paper and a keyboard.