It seems to me that what is missing is the hook into something you are passionate about.

Practically, I'd like to be able to make my living by writing stuff I enjoy writing -- features, essays, the occasional review.

I'm talking subject matters now... What do you LOVE to talk about? What gets you passionate? Cats, family issues, politics, poetry --whatever. You will write better, and it will matter more to you that you write it-the time is not wasted if it's learning or driven by something that excites your mind.

If you cannot identify a subject you feel passionate enough to write about whether anybody publishes it or not, that's the gap you need to close.

ETA: Also,

As for a reward ... I am shallow, okay? Money is nice, but I think I'd trade a fair amount of money for the buzz from seeing something I wrote in a publication I like and respect.

this is not at all SHALLOW. Repeat after me.

NOT AT ALL SHALLOW to want to make money as recompense and NOT AT ALL SHALLOW to want to be excited by the results of publication.

Curiosity leads me to the question of what you would consider a sufficiently "lofty" motivation for writing? Sounds like you're pretty hard on yourself which no doubt makes it hard to keep motivated.

(Not a writer, just avoiding work....)

Lyra Jane, I don't know what's been going on at the City Paper over the last five years, but it seems like everyone who worked there then with a friend of mine is in New York now with fancy jobs: Time, the Voice, NYTimes, etc. I'm clearly not in that world, but from where I sit, City Paper looks like a huge gateway. And my friend went to CP from Congressional Quarterly, I think, so it's not like you need to already be doing cool things to start there.

What do you LOVE to talk about? What gets you passionate? Cats, family issues, politics, poetry --whatever.

Politics is a big one. Music. Women's issues, espeially healthcare. Travel. Food. I've always thought that if I were to work for a newspaper, I would want to be a cops & courts reporter -- it's sick, but I love that stuff. There's just so much human drama in the law...

Curiosity leads me to the question of what you would consider a sufficiently "lofty" motivation for writing?

Oh, you know, the ineffable desire to Create! and Be! and Make Your Mark Upon the World!. Starving-artist-in-the-garret motivators. I feel like because most of the reasons I want to do this stuff are practical, they count less, somehow.

Jesse, who do you know at CP? Patrick used to do layout for them. It's not a bad paper, even if it is sometmes infuriatingly focused on "Urban good, suburban bad; Poor people good, gentrification bad," when all their writers live in Adams-Morgan and Arlington anyhow.

The really funny City Paper story is that guy who went on a date with Monica lewinsky, freelanced a piece about it, and ended up covering politics for Salon. (I think; I am forgetting his name.)

My friend hasn't worked there in years. And I forgot about that jackass guy, who now reports for freaking ABC News! And whose name is currently escaping me.

Jake Tapper.

My friend hasn't worked there in years.

Patrick left in '99 -- it was a freelance thing, and he got a grown-up job that made laying out personals until 2 a.m. less appealing. Seriously, you should email me who it is, just because I am all curious.

now reports for freaking ABC New

Really? I missed that development.

Well, at least he made the most of his 15 minutes.

Incoming to your profile.

I would like to be a cops and court reporter Sister! Alas the hours are so not compatible with disability, it's to laugh.(Bitterly, of course) But I don't blame any attendant I would have for not wanting to work at four because I've gotta follow the fire truck. But I still have a (mental) hard-on for it. So, I'm stuck in the Features ghetto. No, let me amend, I'll have to work my way into the features ghetto. But, see new tag.

Oh, you know, the ineffable desire to Create! and Be! and Make Your Mark Upon the World!. Starving-artist-in-the-garret motivators. I feel like because most of the reasons I want to do this stuff are practical, they count less, somehow.

Ah, yes, the "If it ain't grand it don't count" feeling.

While I'm all for large circulations seeing my funny/trenchant/wise/timeless words the fact of the matter is the big effect is more often the accumulation of increments. Some of them so subtle as to be nearly invisible to the reading eye until they're combined with something else.

You can't build the Great Pyramid without first making the bricks.