Susan, I'd actually ping her, thank her for the valuable input, and ask her if she'd please clarify her feeling about the first person narrative?

Because I tend to agree with you - you have a good strong first-person voice, and I do think it works in the story.

In re the pacing, I also agree - that's two agents who feel there's a pacing issue, and they both mentioned it unprompted, so there's a consensus. In re stripping out the extraneous? That may not have anything to do with the pacing issue as they perceived it. I haven't seen the rewrite, remember - only the first chapter. Hard to tell from just that.

I think my next steps are to finish my current re-read, fix whatever I catch, and then give it to A) Dylan, since he's a ruthless editor who doesn't pull punches on account of being married to me, and B) someone who reads a lot in that subset of the genre. And tell them to look above all at pacing.

And, I'll definitely email the agent for more input. Thanks!

I posted the text of my next on-writing essay for WriteMovies.com on my live journal, if any one has any feedback. I'm thinking about blowing it (along with some of my back columns) into a full-blown book on writing:

How to Succeed as a Failing Writer

Opinions welcome!

Victor, I liked the piece. I left an anon message tho.

I ran into the Big Buzzsaw of Comglomerated Publishing, in which the most powerful editor in tthe industry at that time asked me if I could "stick a few rapes" in the novel I was working on. Because "our demographic audience likes rapes - you know, guys, 14-22."

EWWWWWWWW.

Yeah, I could see how that could put you off.

Susan, it sounds like your rejection letters are pretty encouraging, actually! I'm so excited for you. I mean, you wrote a book! And it's THERE for people to reject!

Ok, maybe it's just me, but THAT'S SO COOL!!!!

OK, I'm all inspired. I'm going to print off what Ihave and let me dad read it (heh -- true test of love "Daddy, read my 20 pages of novels. Turn of the Chiefs playoff game!) and finally make the changes Deb et. al. have suggested kindly.

Inspiration provided by y'all, mostly, but also by reading last night. I read the new "Dragonkin" by Anne McC and her son Todd McC., and it was pretty dull. I think he wrote most of it, and the backflap says he's working on a solo Pern novel now.

There were HUGE errors in the novel, and the pacing sucked and the characterization was boring, and the ending was just...yawn.

I HATE neoptism. Just because your parent is a writer, Todd McC. and Christopher Rice, doesn't mean you are.

And yet, they're published on the strength of their folks' sales.

As are WHITE HOUSE PET BOOKS.

Feh.

Christopher Buckley did turn out a writer. I wonder if he was afraid to come home if he didn't... He's sort of funny...for a conservative.

Oh, there are exceptions, I'ms sure. It's just that...most of them SUCK.

Wrod.

I remember reading one of Tabitha King's books once and suspecting her technical chops were much better than those of the hubby, but it's been a while, and that's all I really remember about it.

Christopher Buckley, however, I remember as being a freaking brill writer, all political differences aside.

I asked this question in fic, but I'll leave it here too. Whenever I start out to write something "about" something, it's a struggle. A lot of times the piece fails. But sometimes the things I expect to be brain-candy are about stuff. Am I uptight? Or is that the nature of the beast? Will I get control with time or is that the wrong thing to even think of?