Deena, that was gorgeous.

Two things, both mechanical:

she thinks to herself

She can't think to anyone but herself. "to herself" is redundant; too much information, and not needed. "she thinks" is fine without the tail.

denim shorts skip touch against her thighs, before passing on to rattle the dry grasses beyond; water and sand darker where they touch

Use of the word "touch" twice, very close together. Also - skip touch?

I'm guessing that's good, Beverly. I like the reaction anyway. Makes me feel evil.

Deb, thank you. I dropped the "to herself" and changed the second touch to meet. I was trying to describe that feeling on the skin when you're wearing ragged denim shorts with strands that move against your skin with the wind... skip touch seemed to work in my head, mostly for the rhythm/feel in my mouth. Would skip-touch be better?

Yup - the hyphen was what I thought you meant. But I couldn't be certain there wasn't a word you'd wanted in there that had got left out.

It's an extremely powerful piece, it is.

Thanks, Deb. It feels good.

Yes, it was a good reaction. Very visceral, didn't have to think it through, just rode your words and images. Powerful is right.

I feel like I've finally broken a barrier that was holding me back. Thanks, Bev and Deb.

Deena, that is wonderful. Such sensual language.

Thank you, sj!

Wow, Deena. Very evocative.

Can I throw out a question and maybe get some of the experts on the board to save me some research?

The scenario (it's in Matty Groves, third in the Child Ballad series): the main characters discover a mention in the family records of the Lady Susanna (Lady Arnold of the title song, circa 1620's) having kept a journal. It makes sense: she was very isolated, much younger than her doting but extremely busy husband, brutalised by a cousin of her husband's (he's the incubus haunting the house in the novel), who has terrorised her into believing that her husband would believe the cousin ahead of the socially lower status wife, and cast her off. Her family lives nearby (Hampshire) but they're distinctly not in the same social class as Susanna's husband's family (Lord Callowen) and she's ben gently but firmly discouraged from socialising with them much. So she really has no one to turn to.

So they find a mention in the family records, saying that her things have been disposed of after the murder. And one of the things that's mentioned - the crucial thing, setting off a frantic pre-exorcism hunt - is this journal.

So a question:

I am an ignoramus on the years leading up to the English Civil War days. What would said journal have looked like? A bound book, obviously, since they were a wealthy family - but, well, I really don't want to have to go digging. All input gratefully received.