While we don't have a built-in pirate mode here at Cocktail Party Physics, you can translate this, and any other blog post, into Pirate Speak from here. The day's festivities got us to thinking about what it would take to institute an annual Talk Like a Physicist Day. I think we need one. C'mon, let's pillage the concept and make it our own. How cool would it be to have physics-mania sweep the nation, with everyone going crazy for scientific gear, competing for the wildest demos, and vying over who can best mimic that inimitable Physicist-Speak? Here's a few rudimentary, off-the-cuff pointers for daring neophytes willing to take the plunge.

1. Never say anything in clear, direct English if you can obfuscate it with technical jargon. (This also works beautifully in literary criticism; just check out the writings of Jacques Lacan.) For instance, if someone asks you how, exactly, radio signals are encoded, toss off this jaunty phrase: "Oh, you just modulate the amplitude of the sine wave!" All the scientists out there understand this immediately, but trust me, to the average American, the sentence conveys no actual meaning, even though they listen to their radios every day.

2. Use terms like "orders of magnitude" to describe significant differences of scale.

3. A particularly challenging task is not "difficult"; rather, the problems to be overcome are "nontrivial," probably because of large (and therefore difficult to predict/calculate) "perturbations."

4. It's not that the course of true love never runs smooth; it is filled with turbulence and bifurcations.

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What I find interesting in the Thai coup is everyone going "We love the king! Yay, king!" Which has to be gratifying, if you're the king.

It's good to be the king.

Oh, I just can't wait to be king

kat p!!!!!

KAT P!!!!!

I'd have stopped beliving in you had I not just smooched you the other day...

And Tom, dear, did you post from my Birthday Party?

Oh, I just can't wait to be king

Coups usually bring to my mind a different Lion King song:

But we're talking kings and successions
Even you can't be caught unawares
So prepare for a chance of a lifetime
Be prepared for sensational news

Ah, the prime minister is currently in New York. Wouldn't you love to be the person assigned to tap him on the shoulder and say, "Excuse me, Mr. Former Prime Minister, I think you might like to take a look at CNN."

1. Never say anything in clear, direct English if you can obfuscate it with technical jargon. (This also works beautifully in literary criticism; just check out the writings of Jacques Lacan.) For instance, if someone asks you how, exactly, radio signals are encoded, toss off this jaunty phrase: "Oh, you just modulate the amplitude of the sine wave!" All the scientists out there understand this immediately, but trust me, to the average American, the sentence conveys no actual meaning, even though they listen to their radios every day.

But how would you say "modulate the amplitude of the sine wave" in clear, direct English? I can't come up with anything.

For lighter news

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Tales of the City: Dog on the Track

quote:

"Hi, I’m at Parkside Avenue. I’m going to be a while. There’s a dog in front of the train.”

“I don’t know what kind of dog it is. But it’s been running in front of the train, and it does not look tired.”

Tom and Trudy. We meet again.

Suddenly, I am imagining the (Former) Prime Minister of Thailand in that dinner party scene from Studio 60 last night. I don't know what he looks like in real life, but in my head, he looks smashing in a cocktail dress and black ribbon headband.

But how would you say "modulate the amplitude of the sine wave" in clear, direct English? I can't come up with anything.

"Turn the dial."