On the PR Fashion Week images: I'm sad to say I was disappointed by Michael's collection, although a few of the dresses were gorgeous. Uli and Jeffrey also had a couple interesting pieces. Overall, I liked Laura the best, but something other than black and beige might have been nice.

This whole conversation is worth it just to add "get your bork on" to the lexicon.

I don't know how far I want to press this argument. I will note that "kink" means "bent." It's not straightforward. Same element is present in the words "deviant" and "pervert." It's an attempt to describe something that deviates from the cultural norm or goes against nature (as it is culturally understood).

Having a wholesome or healthy kinkiness is (to me) an oxymoron. I'm reminded of the exchange in a Mae West movie.

Character: "Sex is a normal, healthy activity. There's nothing dirty about it."
Mae: "It is if you do it right."

This may all be semantics. I'm not saying it's inherently pathological to do any particular activity from the kink list. You could easily have a very healthy attitude about tying up people or whatever is generally classified as kink. I'm just saying its not "Kinky" unless there's an element of compulsion or psycholigical warpage deep down. Otherwise it's just imaginative play. (Or whatever you want to call it.)

takes a risk

Anyone watch Survivor last night?

I think "pathology" is the wrong term, however -- the definition of kink is going to come from how mainstream society defines "vanilla" somewhat regardless of how specific individual preferences come about.

I think this is so, though "pathology" itself is culturally defined. If you live in a society that belives that ghosts are actively moving around you, then it's not considered delusional to talk about seeing ghosts. Or demons, or were-squirrels or Undead Donut Vendors.

Anyone watch Survivor last night?

But of course! And you know, I liked it. I don't take the show seriously enough to be offended by it -- there was a LOT of eyerolling, but there always is, it's part of what makes the show fun.

Mmmm.... undead donuts....

Anyone watch Survivor last night?

But of course! And you know, I liked it. I don't take the show seriously enough to be offended by it -- there was a LOT of eyerolling, but there always is, it's part of what makes the show fun.

Jessica is me.

I'm with Jessica. My favorite moment had to be: Sekou telling Stephannie she had to side with the guys because the team needed his experience so they could survive and have fire." "We don't have fire." she pointed out. Take that, Mr. Blowhard.

What is kink, and how does it differ from fetish? And how do both differ from preference? I might prefer to be tied up because it's comfortable, but consider it only a kink if the idea of tying up is what makes me hot; and then it's only a fetish if I can't get hot without the tying up.

for some reason I'd assumed that the reason homely men can succeed in straight porn is because male consumers are likely to have a hangup about watching pretty (and therefore drawing attention to themselves) men onscreen.

Well, if you watch porn, you may find (as I have) that the men might as well not have heads for all their beauty matters. I mean, they do tend to have shaved, toned chests and pretty faces, but, you can only tell in the three or four glimpses you get. The working theory is that the more you see of the guy's face, the less the (presumably male) viewer can imagine himself in the guy's place. I'm not sure I buy that theory, but.

(The men also almost never make noise, while their female counterparts bellow as if they were cattle stuck in mud.)

though "pathology" itself is culturally defined

The more common dictionary definition is "the study of the cause of diseases." (And even the "deviant from the norm" definition, which you seem to be using, is a derived from the medical usage -- it's a deviation from normal health.) All of which adds up to equating kinkiness with mental illness, which is more judgmental than I'm really willing to be.