The Tears of a Panda

What happens when a zoo animal gets depressed?

A sleep-deprived panda inadvertently crushed her newborn cub to death at a zoo in China last week. "Pandas who lose their young tend to be depressed for a month or so," said a zoo official. "Yaya appeared to be so sad when she couldn't find her baby. … Tears could be seen in her eyes." What happens when a zoo animal gets depressed?

It gets special treats or psychiatric treatment. Keepers can tell something's wrong when an animal becomes lethargic and unresponsive or stops eating its food. Other warning signs include excessive grooming (like picking fur or plucking feathers), rocking in place, and pacing in circles. Zoo employees must first rule out physical ailments that could cause similar symptoms. An animal with an ulcer or a broken finger, for example, might mope around in the corner because it's in pain. A skin condition might elicit a grooming response that looks something like OCD.

A sad-sack animal can sometimes be coaxed out of a funk with "enrichment items" like toys and special foods. The pandas at the National Zoo get "fruitsicles"—apple-juice-flavored ices with embedded pieces of fruit. A blue period may also pass on its own, given enough time.

Some zoo veterinarians prescribe antidepressants as a last resort. Last year, the Toledo Zoo admitted that it had been running an extensive psychiatric program: One gorilla took Prozac for anxiety that seemed to be associated with her menstrual cycle, zebras and wildebeests were given the antipsychotic Haldol to relax in a new environment, and an agitated tiger was dosed with Valium.

I need to find a doctor and say, "Dude. I am so feeling like an agitated tiger today."

E.coli dies when you cook it, though.

Yeah, but we like to eat freash spinach raw, though. I like it better than iceberg in either salads or as a dressing for sandwiches and burgers.

Ooo, my very own local nutcase.

A substitute teacher was charged with disorderly conduct Monday after she allegedly lashed out at a group of Gaithersburg high school students for using words in Arabic while practicing a commemorative speech to mark the Sept. 11, 2001, attacks.

Montgomery County police say Carol J. McVey, 49, began screaming at the group of Gaithersburg High School students and one of their teachers for saying "assalamu alaikum" -- a greeting that means peace be with you -- while they rehearsed the speech in a classroom.

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E.coli dies when you cook it, though.

But then you have cooked spinach. Which some of us consider inedible.

Omg, that's the high school I went to before my family moved to Illinois.

Strega -- did you go there too?

Well yeah, the bags say pre-washed! What's the point of buying pre-washed greens if you're just going to have to wash them again?

What she said.

I DO NOT WANT TO WORK!

And what she said.

I am horribly tired today, but nobody's said that, so I have to say it for myself.

Montgomery County police say Carol J. McVey, 49, began screaming at the group of Gaithersburg High School students and one of their teachers for saying "assalamu alaikum" -- a greeting that means peace be with you -- while they rehearsed the speech in a classroom.

Seriously - people with my maiden name need to stop being nutjobs. Unless they are directly related to me.

When you say "cooked spinach" I think gomae which is totally yummy.

Aimee, did you read the linked article? Strega just quoted the tip of the iceberg.

If there's a category beyond "nutjob," she qualifies.

Unless they are directly related to me.

So those are allowed to be nutjobs?