Gender issues aside, my mother doesn't go by Dr. unless it's directly related to her research.

I would call your mom Dr. (lastname) unless she directed me otherwise, though. It's just presuming the respect first.

Cindy, at my university everyone who has a doctorate goes by Professor. At the college I attended, everyone who had a doctorate went by Dr. and everone who didn't (in arts programs this is fairly common) went by either Professor or their first name. So, when I started working here, I was surprised at all the people without doctorates teaching at this major research university. Of course, I was just dumb.

Anyhoo, I guess what I mean to say is that it varies, even within 2 colleges in the same town!

I looked up your toast question on Google and it pointed me to this story

[link]

Reading ahead a little bit, I see Google agrees with me and the smell is coming from a toaster.

I would call your mom Dr. (lastname) unless she directed me otherwise, though. It's just presuming the respect first.

But not Professor because she's not your professor? And I'm assuming you'd never call my sister Dr. (lastname) because she's more of a peer?

I do think that socially only medical doctors are Dr. But I'd need a google to get my brain to unsquirrel.

I'd guess it varies by field, too. Most engineers I work with don't use the Dr, while the astronomers do. I'm not sure if this is true in the wider world or not.

My question: Is Dr. Girlfriend a real doctor?

I got the following off someone's website, since I don't have the book here. Judith Martin is not my ideal, but since she's a touchstone for folks looking for the answer to these kinds of perplexing questions:

The following is taken from (Warner Books, 1979). I quote both the reader's question and Miss Manners' Response:

Dear Miss Manners:

I was introduced to a Dr. Soandso at a party and was embarrassed to have him say, after I had discussed at length an interesting disease in my family, that he didn't know anything about medicine. I suppose he was a doctor of philosophy, but should he then call himself a doctor?

Gentle Reader:

What you have there is either an honest medical practitioner or an uncertain Ph.D. Only people of the medical profession correctly use the title of doctor socially. A really fastidious doctor of philosophy will not use it professionally, either, and schools and scholarly institutions where it is assumed that everyone has an advanced degree use "Mr.," "Mrs.," "Miss," or "Ms."

Many people feel strongly possessive about their scholarly titles, however, and it is Miss Manners' principle to allow them to call themselves what they want. She will only offer them a story: Miss Manners' own dear father, who would never allow himself to be addressed as doctor, used to say that a Ph.D. was like a nose-you don't make a fuss about having one because you assume that everyone does; it's only when you don't have one that it is conspicuous. For sheer snobbery, doesn't that beat insisting on being called doctor? (p. 73)

From Wikipedia:

Those who possess a doctoral degree are generally entitled to call themselves "Doctor", although restrictions apply in some jurisdictions. Outside academia, the use of the term "doctor" as a form of address is usually limited to certain health professionals with doctoral degrees. For example medical doctors (physicians) usually use the title "Doctor" as a prefix. Dentists, podiatrists, chiropractors, osteopaths, optometrists and veterinarians are also called Doctor whether or not they possess a doctoral degree.

From a wedding invitation etiquette site:

My father has a Ph.D. does he use "Doctor" on my wedding invitations?

Ph.D. is an academic title that is used only in academic settings. The use of "Doctor" on wedding invitations is reserved for medical doctors and ministers with advanced degrees

Sophia, it seemed to vary from prof to prof at my college. I tried to remember how the instructor introduced himself, and use that. I don't get the feeling that most of the comments using "prof" are from his own students (ita, he is also a prof) but I could be wrong about that. It's handy to know, either way. It's just one of a billion factoids my brain has rid itself of, over the past 10 years.

Parenting makes me stupid. By the time life permits me to return to the work force, my best chance at gainful employment is going to involve a lot of hoping that shoe-tying will be a near-forgotten art, suddenly in great demand.

Well, I went and fixed one of the problems they were whining to me about. That only means they're going to keep coming back to me with more problems.