I know that cynics are more often right, and optimists more often happy--I resent having to choose between the two.
Heh. I toss all that judgement off to the side. I'm just wired the way I am, even as I bristle that something other than my own will could control something like that. I'm going to be thinking "it's all going to work out, sara" even as I see the bus heading my way and simultaneously assuming I'm gonna die. And since dead=wormfood and I'm not particularly suicidal, I'm going to count those as contradictory. I've poked at it, and it just doesn't budge. I'm not as introspective as I once was, so I guess that could be subject to change. In any case, maybe it allows me to be both right and happy? Relatively speaking.
I bet The Hoff is very optimistic.
I am really looking forward to going to sleep tonight. And tomorrow I have to go to the post office to get my diploma. @@
OTOH, I got to hold a tiny baby tonight. Good times.
Hasselhoff fears he may be the Antichrist after reading conspiracy theories about himself on the internet. The former BAYWATCH star confesses he's hooked on searching his own name on the net and reading the wacky entries fans post. He says, "I Google myself. This morning it said, 'References to David Hasselhoff: seven million, three hundred and thirty-three thousand, six hundred. Everything from me being a God to being the Antichrist. "I actually read it and believed it. I started thinking, 'Maybe I am the Antichrist? Maybe why that's why all this weird s**t that has started happening to me and women yell at me on the street."
Anyhoo.
Tomorrow I really should take clothes to a tailor and have proper alterations done. Not dry-cleaner alterations. Clothes reshaped.
Tonight? I'm going to watch the Stargates in real time. Sadly excited.
I stand very close to sara on this matter.
really do not see that I have much of a choice in how I see things. sure it fluctuates, but I am mostly hardwired a certain way and the rest is a matter of what I am encouraging or neglecting in myself at the moment.
ION, have new hair and a mostly painted apartment. YAY!
Aw man, I love holding tiny babies! Need to do more of that.
Thinking about it, calling me happy makes me question what happy is. Because, lord knows, I've got issues. I guess I see it as still finding joy in stuff.
I didn't get to do overmuch holding because she was cranky, but still. Teeny tiny baby! She's just 7 lbs now at 6 weeks.
I consider myself a happy person. Though I'm not happy now, and haven't been for months. I still find joy in things--it's just that my default operating level is severely compromised. I try not to let my knowledge of the letdown to get in the way of my good moments while they're happening. I mostly succeed.
I don't see it as related to my distinct lack of optimism, however. I try to live in the moment as much as possible. And I think I can change my outlooks, but it's hard work, and really not something I have energy for right now--my sister's suggestion that since I'm low-energy I should just not react to things that annoy me is weird--it takes me energy to maintain an even keel, to prevent irritation.
Cutie gawky pie.
Oh, so adorable.
And no pregnancy belly for Gwen. Color me NOT surprised.
I'm not optimistic, but that doesn't mean I don't sometimes hope things work out well. I'm somewhere between cynical and realistic. I used to be caustically cynical, but I had to give that up, else I'd burn out. I don't know how Dennis Leary does it.
