And, honestly, it's so much easier to sleep with a guy before you know each other than after.

I've gone about this both ways, and the one night stand thing didn't do well with me. I wanted it to- I *wanted* to be all casual sex yay and secure in my sexuality and empowermentcakes and all, but it wasn't like that at all. It sucked, I felt humiliated, and I cried a lot. I still have shame twinges.

However, not to get all TMI but my current sexual relationship has just gotten better like WHOA the longer we are together and the more we know each other physically and emotionally.

So, Tep, you and me!

Standing in the Nora and Teppy corner. It is a very pretty corner to be in.

Nora, I hope your Sunday is going better than your Saturday did.

I'm also well aware that I'm way way WAY outside the norm when it comes to sexual activity and attitudes about same.

I have no reason to think I'm normal this way, at least not for a chick. I have such a clear divide between physical...I don't even want to call it intimacy, because the whole point is that's it doesn't need to be intimate at all...relations and emotional connection.

I can have sex with anyone that's sexy and hasn't grossed me out yet.

I've never had Jong's zipperless fuck--I've come close, but the guys, oddly enough, were the ones who wanted to keep in contact.

I have no doubt that should I combine the nekkidness physically and emotionally that it'll rock, but it's been so long since I found a guy I could fuck and like over a longer period of time--those guys I usually end up not sleeping with ever.

Thanks sj-I am forcing myself to get some work done, but I am not as productive as I should be... but that's OK. I have most of my resources all lined up but I need to read them and write them up. I will try to read stuff on my commute this week though. How's school going for you?

I will be cooking dinner soon and that makes me happy. Sadly, I was not able to prepare or even help prepare lunch due to reading stuff. (although, Tom did a great job! Bruscetta lunch!) I feel like all I like to do now is cook. It's very relaxing and soothing.

Summertime cooking is so different than wintertime cooking (the emotional connection to the food and the meal, the ingredients, the appetite) but I love doing both.

I have such a clear divide between physical...I don't even want to call it intimacy, because the whole point is that's it doesn't need to be intimate at all...relations and emotional connection.

Yeah, this is what I really *wanted* to have but it just didn't click that way in my brain.

I can't even apply the concept of normality to sex though. It is Teh Freaky in so many ways and on so many levels.

I feel like all I like to do now is cook. It's very relaxing and soothing.

You are me. Except I am not cooking tonight. I am forcing myself to go to a poetry reading tonight, despite the fact that I don't feel very social.

School is going well. One halfway done. 19 more to go. It feels doable, and school hasn't felt that way in a very very very long time.

Heh- I feel like all I do is think about food and cooking and stuff. People listen to me talk about food and slowly back away, and I have to explain, THIS IS ALL I HAVE. Me and Tom in the kitchen. Cooking, eating. Shopping at the farmer's market. Reading cookbooks. (am currently going through Bittman's The Best Recipes in the World.) And then I sound like more of a freak.

One halfway done. 19 more to go. It feels doable, and school hasn't felt that way in a very very very long time.

YAY TEAM DOABLE! I go back and forth with feeling in control to feeling overwhelmed. Somedays I'm like, OK, 3 classes a year, I'll be done in less than 3 years! That's nothing. Some days I'm like, DAMN. I don't think I can hang on that long. I try to focus on the short term on those days.

We went to the local farmers market the other day! It was dissapointingly small, but I got some yummy tomatoes that I am going to make a caprese salad with and I bought zucchini bread which I haven't had in forever and it was so yummy. I so need a job, but I don't know if I have the energy for it. I post about food a lot, because sometimes it feels like it is the only thing I accomplish at all.

Not!Emily wants to die. He got home from vacation this morning. I just chatted with him for 10 minutes, and he said at least 4 ridiculous things.

When do I move again?

Go Nora and sj with the school stuff!

ETA: Is it late enough in the day to start drinking?

I missed SN the first time around. I'm not sure I've been around enough to know if I *ever* felt that kind of instant attraction...I haven't yet, but I'm pretty private in the few places I can be, but I shouldn't say never, right?