And now I'm crying again.

It is all your fault, beth. Well, that and probable PMS.

I will turn 25 in September.

I'll be 45 in two days.

Suzi, I'm sorry K-Bug had a rough go of it. Emmett had an insanely intense baseball weekend (5 games with two different teams), but even with a shaky pitching performance still was feeling pretty up and chipper about it. But I've certainly seen him lose his confidence and it's tough as the parent when you know how good they are.

Tell K-Bug I'm a really good judge of talent, and I'd LOVE to have a player of her caliber and her spirit on any team I coached. Baseball/Softball is all about bouncing back. Way more failure than success on a regular basis.

I know - absolutely know - that she's got a tournament coming up where she's not just going to play well, but dominate. It's in her.

there's no crying in baseball.

seriously, I really tend to think of the buffistas kids as , well , not mine, bu t close enough .

I've been trying to tell her that even if she has lost HER confidence, she needs to take mine.

These problems have been growing since she joined this team. These girls are GOOD and she needs to WORK to keep up. They play at a different level than the other teams she has played on. She had the talent to match them - her head is just in the absolute wrong place.

I'm so behind on this paper. this sucks.

These girls are GOOD and she needs to WORK to keep up.

It'll be good. Emmett really benefitted from playing on the tournament team - really pushed him to play at a higher level. She's got the talent. She really does.

I've got no words for K-Bug, just hang-in-there vibes.

I have no idea if this would have helped - or hurt me when I was at K-bug's age, but every single time you get pushed out of your comfort zone, the easier it is. Every new job, every new social situation gets easier , the more you get used to the idea that things will neever, ever stay where you comfortable. and when you fail, oddly, it only sometimes makes a difference. and you will never know when it will make a difference. ( this comming from a person who says 'no , I can't change my plans, I was going to do laundry!' is very funny. but I still think it is true)

And Emmet baseball stories are proof of my devotion to Buffista children. because I read every word David writes, and I even try and follow them.

Shit. I was going to bed really late anyway, and then I fell asleep and had a super super creepy realistic dream about someone being in my bedroom. And I knew in the dream that it was a dream, but I was paralyzed with fear (and because it was a dream). And I managed to wake up. And I opened my eyes, and was like "OK, dream. No one here. Go back to sleep". And I went back to sleep (because I got like, 12 hours sleep this entire weekend). And the dream came back, even creepier. Damn it.

So I am up, with the lights on. Fucking brain.

Oy, that sucks. I hate being afraid to go to sleep becuase the nightmares live there.

I am waiting for my stupid cat to come inside so I can go to sleep.

Eta: and she's in the darling creature. Good night all.

And Emmet baseball stories are proof of my devotion to Buffista children. because I read every word David writes, and I even try and follow them.

Heh. You're lucky I was in LA this weekend, since he played five freakin' games. To sum: He played worst with The Mets Tournament of Champions game, but still went 3-3 and scored 4 runs (with an extra walk). In one game he made all three outs in an inning while playing second base: grounder, soft liner, grounder. In another game he came in and made the out in centerfield on a line drive over short. He also backed up an overthrow in centerfield and threw the runner out at third. Also at second, he tagged somebody out on a throwdown to get a base-stealer out. He had a bunch of doubles, stole a lot of bases, scored a lot of runs but didn't get to pitch in Burlingame (where they won their first three games, but lost in the semifinals). The Mets game was a see-saw battle that they lost 15-16 when the other team gave an intentional walk (in Little League!) to our best player, Reed. There's your condensed version.