Xander ,'End of Days'
[NAFDA] Spike-centric discussion. Lusty, lewd (only occasionally crude), risque (and frisque), bawdy (Oh, lawdy!), flirty ('cuz we're purty), raunchy talk inside. Caveat lector.
...liking ChiKat's post, there. Yes. We do get to choose whether to present ourselves more femininely or masculinely (I know I'm going to get jumped on for that, and I don't mean 'butchly' - perhaps I should say 'gender neutral'?) according to whim, and it doesn't have to be about wanting to dress like a man, per se...
...hmm.
It's all absolutely fascinating to me, but it leaves me all baffled and speculative.
I definitely feel less me in a dress/skirt than I do in pants (especially jeans).
The closest I can get to understanding it is when I think of how weird I feel wearing a business suit.
I guess, in a lot of ways, the clothes DO make the man. Except it starts the other way 'round. It's very confusing.
Everything is signed and the big checks are written. The apartment is mine, and I’ve eaten, and I’m feeling better about life in general. Although, I still hate my bank.
Yay for apartment! Curses on your bank.
I definitely feel less me in a dress/skirt than I do in pants (especially jeans).
Heh. I'm exactly the opposite.
I don't understand it either - but most articles on male cross dressing suggest that many cross dressers feel the way you describe - more comfortable in women's close, more right, more themselves. I suspect it is something to be felt rather than understood - that is further expaination would be an attempt to find something that would arouse comparable emotions rather than any type of analysis.
Fay, I was thinking the same thing pretty much, probably because of my reaction to this:
when he comes home from work, he changes into a dress or skirt and the highest fucking high heels I've ever seen. Generally a bra and fake boobs...which was: "But DAYUM baby, at the end of a long, hard day, that shit's so uncomfortable. You should get pretty jammies and slippers, instead. My current favorites are light pink Betty Boop PJs."
I guess I have a hard time grokking it because in our society women have the freedom to dress in ways that men don't. I can wear a flirty dress and heels one day and jeans and t-shirt the next and no one thinks that's the slightest bit odd.
True, that. I mean, my ordinary work clothes are (usually) only "women's" clothes because I happened to buy them in that department. But a black t-shirt and jeans is...a black t-shirt and jeans. (I guess the jeans aren't gender-neutral, being cut to fit a person with hips and all, but me wearing men's jeans would not be considered crossdressing, it'd just be me wearing slightly less flattering jeans. Which is something I've always found remarkeably silly about our society, that unless we're talking drag, run-of-the-mill crossdressing only really goes one way. Me in pants = woman in pants. Man in skirt = crossdresser.)
I dye my hair blue to feel more like myself when I look in the mirror, and on weekends I'm all about the flouncy skirts and stompy boots.
But DAYUM baby, at the end of a long, hard day, that shit's so uncomfortable.
Heh, I had the same thought. At the end of a long day, I change into flannel pajama bottoms and a cotton tank top. If I change into heels of any height, it's because they're new and I need to break them in before wearing them outside.
I am irritated at myself for completely failing to get gender dysphoria. It just feels like something I might be able to start to grok.
But, no, nothing. I have the chick version of "white privilege." I can wear pants or skirts. I can dress in "drag" and no one will notice or comment. I mean, fuck, I play in boy spaces just about all the time, and even when I tussle and fuss at stereotypes, it's really nothing compared to having a need to be another gender, or seeking a comfort in clothing or hobbies that society would look askance at me for.
I can't begin to imagine what feeling like a man would be like. I don't know how one could pin that dissatisfaction down, and know "Aha! It's my lack of maleness that bothers me, and I can go some way to fixing that by taking hormones, removing my breasts, and living as a man." Yet, a family member did just that. I figure I'll let him get a little more used to it before I start being horribly pokey, though. He's got enough drama right now.