I never get picked for juries. I'm, like, the least desirable juror ever.
Dawn: Are you kidding? Dr. Keiser: I never kid about my amazing surgical skills.
'Bring On The Night'
The Minearverse 5: Closer to the Earth, Further from the Ax
[NAFDA] "There will be an occasional happy, so that it might be crushed under the boot of the writer." From Zorro to Angel (including Wonderfalls, The Inside and Drive), this is where Buffistas come to anoint themselves in the bloodbath.
victor infante - Nov 13, 2007 9:13:32 am PST #7968 of 10001
To understand what happened at the diner, we shall use Mr. Papaya! This is upsetting because he's the friendliest of fruits.
sarameg - Nov 13, 2007 9:14:48 am PST #7969 of 10001
On mine, there was a woman in the pool who was rather...not all there. She kept getting lost in the courtroom. Seriously. I was surprised how many not-crazy people they dismissed until they finally got to her.
And then I sat on the jury of the Stupidest Case Ever.
Matt the Bruins fan - Nov 13, 2007 9:37:26 am PST #7970 of 10001
"I remember when they eventually introduced that drug kingpin who murdered people and smuggled drugs inside snakes and I was like 'Finally. A normal person.'” —RahvinDragand
When I had jury duty I begged off the first case because the brother of my Kiwanis Club advisor was the defendant. Probably going overboard, but I wanted an absolutely clear conscience about my vote being unbiased. Then I got rewarded with a damages lawsuit built entirely on the testimony of one expert witness, who changed his story in mid-stream on the stand. Needless to say, we didn't deliberate overly long on that one.
Strega - Nov 13, 2007 9:58:07 am PST #7971 of 10001
There were two lawyers on the jury I was on. One had to reschedule a trial of her own to be on the jury. And the one person who was really excited about being on a jury was the alternate, so that was sad.
Also, the judge's clerk gave us candy.
lisah - Nov 13, 2007 9:58:41 am PST #7972 of 10001
Punishingly Intricate
And then I sat on the jury of the Stupidest Case Ever.
Bwah! I was just going to post about how I was an alternate juror on the Stupidest Case Ever!
oh Baltimore (if that was where you were on the jury)
And, since I was an alternate and they didn't end up needing me, I got to sit through all the tedious testimony and couldn't vote on whether the dude was guilty or innocent. and didn't stay to find out. I could look up the lady who knew a friend of mine (Smalltimore) who on the jury to find out how it went but...I just don't care enough.
bon bon - Nov 13, 2007 10:03:11 am PST #7973 of 10001
It's five thousand for kissing, ten thousand for snuggling... End of list.
And the one person who was really excited about being on a jury was the alternate, so that was sad.
IME lawyers are suspicious of jurors like that, though I couldn't tell you why.
Vortex - Nov 13, 2007 10:09:38 am PST #7974 of 10001
"Cry havoc and let slip the boobs of war!" -- Miracleman
When I worked for the chief judge, I got a call from a juror who was a mental health professional. He was worried that one of the jurors was unfit to serve. Among other things, unfit!juror brought his girlfriend one day to "sit in" so he wouldn't get bored.
Kevin - Nov 13, 2007 10:20:43 am PST #7975 of 10001
Never fall in love with somebody you actually love.
Did they bring popcorn the next day, Vortex?
sarameg - Nov 13, 2007 10:28:00 am PST #7976 of 10001
oh Baltimore (if that was where you were on the jury)
Yup, city.
Daisy Jane - Nov 13, 2007 10:34:13 am PST #7977 of 10001
"This bar smells like kerosene and stripper tears."
I like this, from UH:
Whenever the issue of residuals comes up, some on the other side of the bargaining table like to start talking toilets. Specifically, they just love to trot out a quip allegedy made by the late studio mogul Lew Wasserman which goes something like this: "I don't pay the plumber everytime I flush my toilet."
Nice try.
But if the plumber had set it up so Mr. Wasserman's toilet spit out a thousand bucks everytime he flushed, you can bet your ass that plumber would have been beating down the door looking for his cut.