I shudder to think of all the time and energy I wasted through high school and college and embarrassingly far beyond with silent pining, trying to make this friend or that love me through the sheer power of my (silent, cryptic, completely passive) mind.
Ah, how familiar this sounds. Though at least by 30 I'd wised up enough to let my crush object know, and got a fun and un-tense friendship out of the bargain (if not the sort of affection I'd have preferred.) Crushing when they know you're interested and are up-front about not sharing the interest can actually rock.
The difference is I enjoy flirting, but being hit on gives me the willies.
One of the benefits of being a complete slut is that if someone I'm attracted to hits on me, I'm a sure thing. Though if there seems to be an expectation that I'll feel obligated to say yes, things can go pear-shaped rather quickly.
Timelies all!
Hugging is fine, in its place.Like at a con.(The con I was just at had a "hugging contest" and asked people to put stickers on their badges to indicate if they wanted to be hugged. Red=no, yellow= ask first and green= yes) Not at work, though.
I'll hug co-workers I haven't seen for a while, as some are friends I've known a decade or more. But not the ones I work with daily even if we're friends, and as for the co-workers I'm related to, none of us are really huggy types.
If I could tie together stories about associate crushes, nice guys and office flirting-- I have a few paralegals who work on my cases. One is a 6"3" blond Adonis. He actually has the same name as a famous Viking. Took a couple years off after graduating from Harvard to be a ski instructor. Totally diligent and sweet. All the girls on the case have a crush on him, and at least one is scheming to, you know, get busy. To me, he's like my little brother. There's this other paralegal who works for me on another case. He's short and pudgy. But OMG, does he make me laugh-- the other day after complaining that everyone senior to him makes him do stuff that they could do themselves, I said something like, everyone does that to junior people, and he made some crack about bossing around a microbe that sits at his desk. I laughed so hard that after that I started blushing furiously and wondering what he thought of me. Now I'm smoothing my hair and sticking in gum and cleaning my desk when he's going to come over and rewriting my emails to make good jokes. So, there you go. I'll let you know if we accidentally kiss.
The con I was just at had a "hugging contest" and asked people to put stickers on their badges to indicate if they wanted to be hugged. Red=no, yellow= ask first and green= yes) Not at work, though.
I think this is a good idea for Cons in general. Lots of people with no concept of personal space and affection comfort levels.
they were discussing the apparent trend to greet or say goodbye to a business associate with a hug or even air kiss. Have you seen this at work?
Oh, hells no. No one at this office job gets hugged. Ever. At the krav job, it varies. The standard male to male greeting is giving daps, and some guys don't give daps to the women. Or, at least, to me. So there's a bit of squeezing. It all depends on how touchy feely the guy is, and how off-the-mat touchy feely we are to each other. Some will never get hugged.
I hug friends just fine. I don't have any friends at work, just co-workers I like. Some of the kravvers are friends in a way that leaves the centre, and in a way where we don't have to talk about krav all the time (although it sure is fun). They're up for hugging, if I like them enough.
Danish American Princesses
Whoot! My tax returns just hit my bank account. Whoot! I can pretend I'm not a complete financial mess for at least a few weeks!
they were discussing the apparent trend to greet or say goodbye to a business associate with a hug or even air kiss
Yeah, this sounds like one of those NYT "trends" articles where actually it's just at this one place, and only among like three people.
My department is very chummy and we all hang out socially from time to time, but we don't hug, and we REALLY don't air-kiss.
