There's also the fact that I rarely trust myself to be reading the signs correctly. And there are times when I completely miss the signs and have a sudden epiphany months or years later when it's completely moot.

This is totally me. For values of "times" = always.

To me "nice" is opening the door and noticing my hair and picking up the tab and laughing at my jokes and making me laugh and being pleasant to the server...

Things like that. Its not that any one of those things is IMPORTANT, its the pattern of just being a pleasant and kind human being. And I like it a lot.

But that's enough if he's not also interesting too. OTOH, if a guy is fascinating and does none of that stuff you don't so much notice until you're hooked and making excuses for his being anywhere from somewhat inconsiderate to something more along the lines of a self-centered, manipulative, selfish, teenager in a grown man's body who happens to fuck really really well.

Hypothetically speaking.

Did he like carrots? Or Bob?

It's been a long time, but as I remember, the answers are, "Yes," and, "I don't know -- I don't remember any mutual acquaintances of that name."

A former boss was named Bob. Steve never met him, but I don't think he'd have liked him. The less said about that Bob, the better.

The less said about that Bob, the better.

That flies in the face of everything I've ever known about Bob. My worldview is crumbling.

Bob was the name of my computer in college. Bob was popular but kinda square.

Someday someone will offer a "Human Interactions: Signals and Signs" class at the local community college and I will be the first one to sign up for it.

Someone could make a fortune with that one, I think.

This is totally me. For values of "times" = always.

My friends and I have a little term for that. Anytime one of us is being oblivious to signs (or realizing we've missed them our selves) we'll say "Three inches thick", in reference to the oblivious one's skull.

Such as:

1: "So what's going on with you and Jenny?"

2: "What do you mean?"

1: "Dude, three inches thick!"

I have no idea what's going on with all this Bob and Steve stuff.

Cluelessness never went away for me in general, though. I'm married and didn't exactly live the life of monk beforehand, but here's an incident for example: after leaving a work-related meeting/facility tour recently, I mentioned to my boss & co-worker that I thought the woman leading the tour was rude because she'd hardly looked at or spoken to me. They both burst out laughing and said that she was completely into me. That they'd been whispering jokes to each other throughout how she wanted to be my girlfriend. I dunno. I thought eye contact was an important indication of attraction, and this woman met my eye maybe once.

I thought eye contact was an important indication of attraction, and this woman met my eye maybe once

If a guy flusters me, I can't look him in the eye for fear of turning beet red and him reading my lascivious thoughts.

If a guy flusters me, I can't look him in the eye for fear of turning beat red and him reading my lascivious thoughts.

This.

I'm getting better at the sign reading thing. It's irritating that it's so simple to see when it's not about you.