I just dislike how it smacks of "Catch the bouquet and YOU WIN!!! Your grand prize for elbowing the other single women in the face to catch the flowers? A HUSBAND!!!!"

I was at a wedding once where the bride did the bouquet toss. A space wide enough to drive a humvee through opened along its trajectory. One of the guys swore he could hear, "Not until I finish grad school!" going through every woman's mind at that moment.

Yeah, usually when I've seen the whole garter thing, it was all a total setup for the next couple actually planning to get married.

I think the key might be to drink early (if you drink at all), then switch to soda.

Yup. This is key. At the afterparty at one wedding I went to, the bride walked up to me at the bar, said "I don't feel so good," and then passed out. I managed to catch her before she hit the floor, and then waved the groom over to haul her away to their room at the hotel. He tucked her in, and then came back to the party.

In all the weddings I've been to where my friends get way too far into the spirit of sharing, I've only known of one case in which the option to just sleep a lot was not taken. That one? they watched a game they'd missed due to the whole wedding thing.

About the only time I caught the bouquet, a little kid caught the garter. Someone explained to him what he'd have to do with it, and he shoved it post haste into the hands of the nearest guy.

Who was my cousin, and the brother of the bride.

His sister insisted he put it on me, and mentioned that every inch above my knee counted as a year of happiness for the new couple.

He couldn't make eye contact with me the whole time, and stopped when the bride freaked out.

I thought the whole thing was hysterical, and it didn't bother me in the least.

::makes note of the limo-quicky idea::

I was maid of honor for a friend, and at her reception she all but turned and chucked the bouquet at my head.

The garter was caught by a 12 year old boy. Imagine his surprise when he found out there was more to the game than "catch the thing!" He barely got it over my shoe before he scurried away.

And now I realize I have a lot of wedding stories. And who would have thought one of them would be an x-post with ita?

I swear I just posted here about cheese. Did it like, end up in Technology or something?

I swear I just posted here about cheese. Did it like, end up in Technology or something?

Who moved your cheese?

Many years ago, the reception for my cousin's wedding had garter tossing and bouquet tossing and cake smashing. I doubt I'd know the Electric Slide if I saw it, but the Chicken Dance definitely occurred.

I've been to six receptions as an adult, and haven't seen any of those things again. Although, thinking about it, only two of those weddings were performed in churches, so I suppose it's a fairly nontraditional group of people.

Also: oatmeal and peanuts are gross in any form or combination. Raisins are okay by themselves, though. For the record.

Allyson, what are you detoxing from, and why, and how? I have the strong impression that I missed something.

No, it was here. You crave an omelet as a cheese conveyance.