The Scandinavian name change wasn't really related to coming to America. The Olaf Olafson thing became unwieldy when the government had to keep permanent records for things like Army service, and people were required to pick a last name by the 1850s. It might have been a current last name, the name of an ancestor or just something they liked. This is why Swedish geneologists curse a lot.

I never had any idea that the bouquet was linked to virginity. One lives, one learns.

Me either. I just thought it was an evil plot put forth by the producers of America's Funniest Home Videos.

My next wedding I want to be a Vegas style affair, with singing Elvii and all the attendant cheesy rituals. It'll be a hoot. No cake smooshing, though. That's just nasty.

This is why Swedish geneologists curse a lot.

But in a very organized and polite manner, complete with lingonberries and meatballs.

its weird how people will do some of it unthinkingly still.

Unthinkingly, or unknowingly? I can't see any way to know the bouquet symbolism (for instance) without being exposed to the facts. It's hardly intuitive.

Some of the other stuff is more obvious--the giving away, the kissing the bride.

Even the garter toss-doesn't bother me in the least. I didn't know what it symbolised--I just thought it was funny.

But not at Ellis Island: there was no "name choosing" there.

You had to list a family name. Most Scandinavians did not have a family name when they arrived. How did they get one if they did not choose it?

I'm realizing that I've never given notice at a real job. I don't know how it's done!

shrift: You write up a two-line letter to your boss that says you are resigning, effective on X date. Then you panic for a little while and finally walk it into your boss's office and tell them you're leaving. Then you feel an ENORMOUS FUCKING SENSE OF RELIEF. Then you have booze at lunch.

I'm realizing that I've never given notice at a real job. I don't know how it's done!

Both times I did, I just walked into my boss's office and said I was quitting. They both sent me back to write a letter to that effect--by the second one, I'd written the letter before going to talk to her, so I just presented it to her.

The letter was very simple: To t lovelyboss --I hereby give notice on this day t whatever that I quit and t insertdetailsaboutnoticehere

I never had any idea that the bouquet was linked to virginity. One lives, one learns.

The whole thing is a public, well, deflowering.

Now that her chastity has been bought and paid for (and he's undressed her a little in front of everybody) she hands off her virginity to her friends. Then one of his friends gets to cop a feel too and maybe bouquet catcher will be the next lucky girl.

Even the garter toss-doesn't bother me in the least. I didn't know what it symbolised--I just thought it was funny.

The garter toss *does* bug me, but not on any symbolic level; it's the very literal act of removing an undergarment from your brand-new wife *in front of a crowd* and then throwing the undergarment to a pack of guys.

Um, no. Not unless I get to make my husband strip in front of the crowd and then take off his undergarments.