Relatedly, I received this email from a friend in London:

Read slowly


The European Commission has just announced an agreement whereby English will be the official language of the European Union rather than German, which was the other possibility.

As part of the negotiations, the British Government conceded that English spelling had some room for improvement and has accepted a 5-year phase-in plan that would become known as "Euro-English".

In the first year, "s" will replace the soft "c". Sertainly, this will make the sivil servants jump with joy.

The hard "c" will be dropped in favour of "k". This should klear up konfusion, and keyboards kan have one less letter.

There will be growing publik enthusiasm in the sekond year when the troublesome "ph" is replaced with "f". This will make words like fotograf 20% shorter.

In the 3rd year, publik akseptanse of the new spelling kan be expekted to reach the stage where more komplikated changes are possible.

Governments will enkourage the removal of double letters which have always ben a deterent to akurate speling.

Also, al wil agre that the horibl mes of the silent "e" in the languag is disgrasful and it should go away.

By the 4th yer people wil be reseptiv to steps such as replasing "th" with "z" and "w" with "v".

During ze fifz yer, ze unesesary "o" kan be dropd from vords kontaining "ou" and after ziz fifz yer , ve vil hav a reil sensi bl riten styl.

Zer vil be no mor trubl or difikultis and evrivun vil find it ezi tu understand ech oza. Ze drem of a united urop vil finali kum tru.

Und efter ze fifz yer, ve vil al be speking German like zey vunted in ze forst plas.

Ha ha ha ha!! That's awesome.

My husband spent his formative years in Germany, and he has a lifelong grudge against English spelling. "Why is there an e at the end of that! A c? Why is that a c?"

We tell people he married me for my spelling and I married him for his math.

Neil Gaiman describes how he came to write American Gods. I particularly liked the character naming and so will Teppy.

This was particularly resonant to me having just finished my book:

I wondered what I'd learned, and found myself remembering something Gene Wolfe had told me, six months earlier. "You never learn how to write a novel," he said. "You just learn how to write the novel that you're writing."

That was awesome, Hec. Thanks. I just finished reading that book, so it was a good time.

As for the Gene Wolfe quote...this is the umpteenth time I'm telling myself I haven't written fiction in over four years, and it's high time to pick that shit up again.

this is the umpteenth time I'm telling myself I haven't written fiction in over four years, and it's high time to pick that shit up again.

Yep. It was resonant for me because in writing the Swordfishtrombones book I felt like I had to invent something new every day. That it wasn't just laid out in front of me like a research paper or something. That it required active imagining.

And then I'd get stuck but I learned to trust that something would come and since I was in that good writing space something did come. Every time I looked at a section and could not imagine what came next - I'd imagine it.

But it felt like I was inventing writing itself from scratch. I knew what I wanted to say but there were no answers except for the ones I created.

In short, don't let Not Knowing How To Write A Book stop you. You're going to have to make it up anyway.

I think this is probably why writing works for me so much. What with the Imposter Syndrome and everything, it's best if I'm doing something where I'm supposed to be making it up as I go.

I think adults are only supposed to read things that have insightful things about the angst of modern existence. Anything else is trite escapism.

So true. And I'm so over Insightful Angst.

Another way to look at it: If Oprah recs it, it's OK. If not, random co-workers can have judgment about it.

SANDWORMS OF DUNE, by Brian Herbert and Kevin J. Anderson?!!

Earworms of Dune.

Toni Morrison has been an Oprah rec, though, and I think Toni Morrison is a genius.(Her first book "The Bluest Eye" is best though because she wasn't *trying* be a genius so it is clear and simple.) I'm glad I've outgrown my teenage urge to tell people junk about their reading habits. It doesn't make you look smart...it makes you look like a dick.

No, Oprah has definitely recommended some excellent books; I'm commenting more on the fact that "people" need to have those books recommended by someone like Oprah in order to think they are OK to read.

Is this a holdover from school? That only English-class-books are "real" reading? I don't know. I just know that I talk to everyone about what they read, and as a result have developed appreciation for whole genres (historical romance, for example) that I would never have otherwise.

I mean, I threw "The Bluest Eye" across the room the first time I read it...but then, I wasn't used to books making me unhappy and uncomfortable like that.