I have to know. Who were they? Bald, red-heads, what? All that detail, and then left hanging.

Dunno. I was just parodying. But she does that! Detailed, unnecessary description, and then -- "several months later..."

I wondered who that username was! I will add you shortly.

OK, I've been reading the last part of Lanning's "Identical" series in SV fandom, and I have to say, much as I've really liked the series, this last section was *terrible*. I couldn't finish it.

And the thing is, it's technically proficient, well-written, all of that -- it's just MIND-NUMBINGLY DULL. The same scene structure, over and over, tons of dialogue and almost no description.... I was reminded of Lorrie Moore's great line that the hardest thing to do in fiction is to get your characters in and out of their cars. We see every conversational car door opening every time in this story.

Plus, and I think this is a general problem with long series, they stopped being SV characters and started being "Identical" characters. Which, now that I write it, seems like it's always the case -- I mean, a good writer has to make the characters her own to make the story come to life. But, for example, early on, there's a scene where Lex is making jokes to Jonathan Kent about what a lurid gay sex shack his new bedroom is. Even if we stipulate that these two characters have a good relationship in this 'verse, I don't believe Lex would talk about his sex life with his partner's parent except in the most oblique way, unless he was trying to anger the person or make him an enemy -- and here, as I noted, they are friendly: Jonathan actually helped get Clark and Lex together in an earlier story.

And I certainly don't believe Jonathan Kent would ever engage in witty banter. Jonathan Kent doesn't engage in witty banter with anyone. Jonathan Kent is like the Anti-Banterer. He's more the strong, silent type. But no one in this story is silent, ever.

I have to say I'm disappointed, if only because I put time into reading the rest of the series, and if someone wants to tell me in whitefont how it ends, I'd be happy to get my narrative closure fix that way. But it's also a great reminder that reading all this non-professional fiction is a tremendous writer's laboratory, and I think I've learned something as a writer from this story, even if I literally could not get more than a third of the way through it as a reader.

Are there any Stargate stories where Sam gets turned into a man? I seem to be on a sex-change kick, but the trawling I'm doing only seems to turn up Jack/Daniel, possibly because I'm looking in the wrong places.

I have to say I'm disappointed, if only because I put time into reading the rest of the series, and if someone wants to tell me in whitefont how it ends, I'd be happy to get my narrative closure fix that way.

So very much agree with you. I really enjoyed the rest of the series, but I skipped and skimmed this one a lot. It's not the last part either, from what I gather. The thing is, it's well-plotted, but the plot gets drowned in flood of repetitive, sentimental conversation. It would have benefited hugely from a ruthless edit methinks. A clear case of Order of the Phoenix syndrome.

I've been reading the Amelia Peabody Emerson books by Elizabeth Peters, and a strange half-awake dream has proved that I've been utterly corrupted by slashers. Is there any Ramses/David stuff out there?

I'm sure there is, but I can't help. Be sure to post URLs if you find it though...

The new one is set in the past of the series, btw, when Ramses is about 20: Peters seems to have learned the lessons of her recent books -- too many characters, all of whom she felt compelled to reintroduce for new readers, dragged the books down. This one has mostly only the core four (David stays behind to be with Lia, then his fiancee) and is the stronger for it.

It's not the last part either, from what I gather.

Oh, God.

The thing is, it's well-plotted, but the plot gets drowned in flood of repetitive, sentimental conversation. It would have benefited hugely from a ruthless edit methinks. A clear case of Order of the Phoenix syndrome.

Order of the Phoenix was baggy and shambling, but it never had repeated scenes in which characters tell one another what the reader already knows.

Plus, and this really struck me, it's the same scene over and over, structurally. Conversation, event, more conversation. Give me a long descriptive passage to break up the monotony. A dream sequence. A fight in which no one says a word. SOMEthing. You know?

I think this is one of my biggest sins as a writer so I can't say anything.

Well, as I said above, this was a tremendous learning experience for me as a writer if not a good read -- I'm certainly going to be looking at pace a lot more closely from here on in.