Aren't we SUPPOSED to wait until this shit's been on the Remix site for a while before posting?

I think that, once the reveal's over, it's open season on posting your remix at your own site. But your remix challenge isn't over yet, right? The deadline was this weekend?

Okay, I read the remix. Edited out my previous comment to explain why I think it's not well done.

It seems to me, the author took a fairly standard premise, the things we do for fame and, instead of presenting it in a new way (as the original did), regurgitated this old cliche. The bite of the previous version, sharp most especially in the voices with no attribution, wallows between mute and invisible here.

The story becomes a standard boy meets LA, boy is beaten by LA, boy is given new hope story with no individual essence. If these weren't famous people, we wouldn't care. So, I don't care because I don't care much about famous people in fiction just because of their fame. It has no other appealing quality.

The unique perspective and distinct voice and characterization of the original have been turned into oatmeal blandness. The immediacy is lost. There is more sexual content and less sexual tension. In fact, there's less of any tension. Case in point, the moment where the hangers on are thrown out. In the original, the focus remains tight on the main characters. The others are colorful detritus, an obstacle to be removed. The tension builds while the character wades through that detritus to explode during the confrontation immediately following. Immediacy is key. In this version, the hangers on are presented as "real" menaces, including "bulges under coats" which I am sure we are intended to view as guns, and feel danger. Unfortunately, the tension is diffused by this focus on things we might already expect and the immediacy is lost. Who doesn't have an image already of a bad Hollywood party? Those things didn't need to be expressed beyond the hints of the original. Expressing them derailed the story, again, into cliche.

The ending is as one might expect. A hopeless character (for whom the reader has no sympathy) is presented with a view of L.A., the sparkling lights of the holy land, from a safe place, a platonic cave, perhaps. Because he has been taken above the tension and distress of his life, he is able to gain a wider perspective and forget the reality that living below reveals. Unfortunately, we are not presented with any proof that the holy land view is real. In fact, it's an obvious lie. It's not the big picture, it's a fairytale picture. It does not present any insight into how to live in the real world. It presents a rarified view of it, returning the reader to the safe, cliched view of L.A. as mecca and denying all the lessons that could have been learned. The characters are not older and wiser now. They've been given back their rose-colored glasses.

Re-edited to say: This is harsh. It's also true. It's also true that I couldn't have done a better job because I don't participate in this particular fandom and wouldn't have known where to begin to remix a story of the superlative quality of the original.

I think that, once the reveal's over, it's open season on posting your remix at your own site. But your remix challenge isn't over yet, right? The deadline was this weekend?

31 March.

Wonder how much of the positive spin is possibly informed by the remixer missing the city itself, and thus having rose-tinted LA shades. But I'm not going to spend too much time thinking about it.

(edited because I made no sense outside of my head.)

Aren't we SUPPOSED to wait until this shit's been on the Remix site for a while before posting?

Yes.

One minor housekeeping thing on the Remix...Redux - please don't post your stories anywhere until after the challenge is over and I put them up. Also, as I'm being swayed to the "post them anonymously" side, please don't talk about who you remixed, and certainly don't tell the person (if you haven't already. You weren't supposed to, but eh, people talk.).

The stories won't be posted immediately, either -- she says "by April 15." I'm hoping it's a lot sooner than that.

Aren't we SUPPOSED to wait until this shit's been on the Remix site for a while before posting?

But bitterchick's remix was from an earlier project, wasn't it? That deadline is well past, so she's not jumping the gun by posting the links here now.

...remix was from an earlier project, wasn't it? That deadline is well past, so she's not jumping the gun by posting the links here now.

Sorry, for clarity, that was to Elena. Bitterchick's stuff is all fair game, yes.

Wow, Deena. Just wow. I had really feared that I was just being silly and territorial. But you expressed all the things that bothered me about the remix, except eloquently and coherently. Mine was more of a sputtered, "But...but...but..." Thank you so much for reading and giving me your thoughts. I'm thrilled that you thought so highly of my story.

Wonder how much of the positive spin is possibly informed by the remixer missing the city itself, and thus having rose-tinted LA shades.

It's funny [to me] because I do love LA. I love this crazy, wacky, fucked up town in all its annoying imperfection. When I was flying home on Friday, as I saw the lights below, I started to smile. I was grinning by the time we touched down. I'm not even sure I realized how much I loved this place until that moment.

I love this crazy, wacky, fucked up town in all its annoying imperfection.

Oh, I don't doubt it. I just imagine that being there makes you able to lovingly show the flaws and horrors of the place. No nostalgia to block the clarity.

So now I'm curious, being as you're one hell of a writer... are you considered a BNF in popslash?

Thanks Bitter. I just caught up in the angel thread and was thinking of cutting that and e-mailing it to you. I'm NOT into confrontation. So, having said that, is the remix author likely to catch that post and be offended by it?