The problem with a word like "ministration" is that it seems a bit too wishy-washy to describe a sex scene. It's too all-encompassing. It could describe a nurse tending to a patient in a manner acceptable under most hospitals' code of ethics, or it could describe a nurse tending to a patient in a manner more commonly seen in a XXX movie.

I don't know. I think there are scenes where caress is really appropriate, if the sex is soft enough."Tender Sarah Mclaclan love" as it were.

See, to me "caress" is much less purple than "ministration."

I'm just now writing My First Love Scenes for the non-fanfic novel, and I'm already feeling like Thesaurus Girl in my efforts to avoid using nice basic words like "touch" and "grasp" five times each in the same paragraph. I'm further limited by my first-person narrator's 1810 vocabulary, which rules out 21st century plain English like "have sex" and "make love."

Hm. That would be difficult.

"And then there was this -- um. And it was -- er. And then, whoa!" Suddenly, Miss Dashwood sounds like Keanu.

Truthfully, "ministrations" are something a nurse does to a patient, at least in my head: "Nurse Mary moved through the wards like an angel of mercy, selflessly and tirelessly. The patients looked up with gratitude in their eyes, and responded to her ministrations like flowers to sunlight" or some junk. It strikes me, I don't know - clinical.

I don't think I've ever used "caress". But then, I don't much see the reason for wanting to compress the reality of sex into a single word. Hell, the whole thing about writing, the first basic rule: always show, never tell.

Gimme the full description of the hot monkey love. Alternately, touch one finger to the soft pale skin of her thigh. But show me the scene. I really don't much want it in one word.

(sorry - Wednesday is my bad MS day and it makes me ramble.)

"stroke" is a good word. "ran a finger along" is nice too.

I think.

"And then there was this -- um. And it was -- er. And then, whoa!" Suddenly, Miss Dashwood sounds like Keanu.

Suh-nerk!

It's really the generic terms that are the problem--for specific touches, the vocabulary hasn't changed as much. But even my adoring writers' group has called me for overuse of "marriage bed."

Gosh, period terminology for the essential acts themselves that aren't crude. Tricky.

And there really are some good Pacey/Joey stories out there.

Soph, could you email me some recs?

Writing sex can be hard.

Writing sex can be hard.

I'm so trying to get a lewd pun out of that.