And hey! Remember, I had to shag the dead. Shit, your foreplay's gotta be bloody good to make an inroad there, I can tell ya.'

It is an ongoing source of wonderment to me that I read stories in which this is a perfectly reasonable remark. And, for that matter, have written them.

t /bemused by the way life turns out.

Well, I think it's a good thing. The world would be a poorer place without GVSP.

Mom did, I guess. She's started giving him hot chocolate to feed him up a bit. She thinks he's too thin, and she swears he's depressed.

Joyce niceness. Ahh.

By chapter 3, we've got to gems like:

Giles used his I-am-now-speaking-slowly-to-Xander-Harris voice. 'Because, if you fed earlier, you wouldn't get hungry and have to go.'

Spike also used his I-am-speaking-to-that-wanker-Xander-Harris voice. 'I fucking got that bit, tosser. Why would I want to stay?'

Voiceover: Read it. You know you want to.

He almost felt the air around him want to mount those stairs, too.

This is strange. Wonderful fic, then bam! Image of Giles shagging the stairs. And this should be going in a feedback e-mail, not here, right?

I'm quoting too, much, aren't I? Oh, never mind. Might get someone hooked.

Further to Fay's wonderment, when this

'Got some info for you, watcher. Wanna hear it?'

can be interpreted as 'I want to have sex with you where Buffy won't see us', it is, um, intresting.

next time you do a tharmaturlurgical audit of any premises of mine, it'd cause a lot fewer problems all round if you were thorough enough to actually mention little details like necromantic rites, desecrated graveyards and stolen skeletal remains in your final report.”

Her voice on the other end of the line sounded guilty. “We didn't want to upset you -”

The joy that is Hall.

Fay, would you like a virtual KitchenAid mixer to go with that virtual toaster? As I can't wing my way to England to kneel at your feet to thank you for showing me AJHall? That stuff just brings tears of delight to my eyes. I need a bigger Palm so I can just stuff it all in there to carry around and page through in slack and dreary hours. Cheaper than Prozac.

Thank you, Connie! My virtual kitchen is big and sparkly and crammed with gorgeous trappings now. All I need is a virtual Nigella Lawson chained to it, and I'm set.

considers that image.

....I think I may need to go to my bunk. Right now.

This is very silly, a WiP, and contains occasional grammar errors.

However, if you're in the mood for a laugh, it's got some fun stuff.

Naked Quidditch Match