because I can't understand being able to both *be* mature enough to *know* the limits of your own maturity, and *not* be mature enough for sex. They're bound up inextricably, in my mind, in a knotty pile of assumptions and history.
I can think of plenty of those instances. It's not not being ready for sex itself. Most people, once they get to be teenagers, are ready for the physical act. It's not being ready to deal with the emotional, physical, and social consequences of sex. If someone is self-aware enough to know they want sex, then they're also (hopefully) self-aware enough to know what they can and cannot handle.
"Not ready for sex" can mean "I know that I can barely remember to turn in my homework and show up to class on time, so there's no way I'll remember to take the pill every day, or to tell him to put on a condom." Or it can mean "I'm not too good at keeping a relationship going for any period of time, and I wouldn't want to add all the emotional baggage of sex until I've figured out how to stay with one guy for longer than a month."
(And dismisses the STD/pregnancy risks of sex as things that can be worked around-- working with a slightly looser definition of "sex".)
Oral sex can spread STDs... Even mutual masturbation and kissing carry a risk (though very slight).
Hil, you've given my POV much better than I did.
And I'm really not arguing. I mean, I'm not trying to. I mean, I think I need a muzzle.
Oral sex can spread STDs... Even mutual masturbation and kissing carry a risk (though very slight).
Thanks, Elena. I was going to say that. I would hate to see someone mistake oral sex for safe sex. There are many unpleasant forms of STDs that are spread that way, and the number of cases of STDs among young teens is growing.
You don't need a muzzle, Liz, your viewpoint is exactly as valid as anyone else's here.
Me, sex was this obscure mystery until college, and by then I'd had enough health classes and awkward maternal lectures to know that this was something fairly significant. Mostly it was "Which of these boys do I want to get naked with and let that far into my personal space?" Then it was trying to figure out how to bring up the matter with something approaching dignity. In the course of a weird flirtation/mutual seduction, I lost a very strange bet and shrugged to myself that now was a good time. It felt very nice to be able to choose the time rather than let desperate hormones make the decision. OK, and I sat with my friends in the dining hall that evening and smirked to myself cause they didn't know what I'd been up to that afternoon.
I was a total late bloomer. At 12, thinking about my crushes(and I'm just now realizing I had female and male crushes, both) meant kissing, mostly, or something else not groiny. It was just not something I thought about in that sense till I was 15 or 16. So if someone had tried to make a move on me, I would've have been completely not ready.
[link]
It's the latest Angel/Wes roadtrip ep from Brat Queen!
Oh, wow! Okay, now I'm torn. Principa Discordia or Brat Queen?
Print out both and go to bed, perhaps.
